Oh I'm back and yes i brought friends, and stories!

Hello blog friends hope all is well i took a bit of a break from everything to somethings and give the ol noggin a rest, but like the great Michale Jordan, I'm back and have lots to tell about a lot of many things that are funny sad and just not right and probably shouldn't be allowed in the us any more. well ladies and germs i can honestly say its good to be back and i cant wait to hear from all my friends in blog world and yes if you would like to participate in a mad lib for my blog e-mail me at sethcarterhasablog@gmail.com. Love Peace and hair grease later all and have a wonderful day!!!!!

I pooted on your pillow, i hope you get pink eye.

So my birthday is 3 days away and i plan on doing a special "super fantastic explosive edition" of Because poop smells like shit, that's the name of my blog for those that didn't pay attention, in this edition there will be over 83 hours of my life photographed and or written about. It will be fantastic and yes kinda sad. We will grow together as you read it so get ready for an all new train wreck of fun, silliness, and sorrow i call life. thanks again and keep doing what ever it is you do to get paid or for fun in between reading my blog Oh and go see Zombie land it fuckin rocks.

Time to nut up or shut up!

the absolutely funniest thing in the history of life happen the other day. Well maybe not the history of life but it was pretty damn close. It was kinda like seeing a unicorn it was something that happen and the timing was just right to make it amazing. What happen you ask well this is what happen.

Last Sunday i was at dug's parents house watching football. They put together a good group of food and people to watch football and hang out. So its the end of the titans game and me dug and Tyler decide to go throw football to wast time in between games. its going pretty good nothing to Fancy then one of the group comes out to throw with us. He is cool hung out with him plenty of Times to know he aight, i do feel bad, i can remember his name to save my life though. Its going good then the group of i would say high school aged boy that are there come up and throw with us. Now there are tow at the end with me and Tyler and one went down with dug and the other guy. The one down there is jumping right into it. I would say showing off a lil bit. Not enough to get on any ones nerves. then i notice the guy say something to dug. The only thing that goes off in my head when i see this is " holy shit this is going to be good" . Tyler has the ball and dug points up as if to say "hey friend lob this one up for you friend" and Tyler nods as if to say " sure pal, anything for a friend" and Tyler hums that mofo. Now for those who may not know what "Tyler humms that mofo" means, it means Tyler threw the ball really freaking hard i could hear the wind come off of it. So the kid jumps for the ball and dug grabs the bottom of his shorts and his shorts come down. Now the kid has a choice to make go for the ball or go for the shorts. Guess what he did? That's right he went for the shorts. Hear is some advice if you ever find yourself with this choice. Go for the ball, go for the ball, GO FOR THE FREAKING BALL. Because he went for the shorts and the ball hit him right in the face causing him to fall down in the yard with his shorts down around his ankles. At this point me and Tyler are laughing so hard we are hugging each other to hold each other up. It was insane how funny this was. The kid was OK and we knew it so calm down. He was a good sport to, rolled over and with blood coming out of his nose looked at dug and said "payback is a bitch dug". So after he left I tyred to convince dug to send balloons to his school with a card that read. "Roses are red, Violets are blue, your eye is black, Boo whoo. Hope your face feels better, Cordially Dug" So he could be two up on the kid. But dug said no sadly and he felt real bad about it. So me and Tyler made him feel worse about it. hahahahaha Great Day!!!!!!!!

Yea the goat had it commin, he was talking shit.

So I got some good new, but we are going to star this off right. If you read or have read my blog I'm not really shy about saying I'm 26 and live with my parents. I'm not proud of it but it works or should i say worked. That's right ladies and germs I'm moving out. After two glorious years at home the turkey is leaving the nest yet again. lol its a good time in my life right now got a new car and a new place to say "tear" I'm a big boy now and i cant wait to see what I'm going to be when i grow up. Well i thought i would blog about this since not much else is going on in my life, besides school witch is awesome, not really. I'm out later

how am i suppose to look you in the eye when you have a booger hanging out of your nose.

Being a preschool teacher, as i said before, will always be the best job I've ever had, also the best birth control ever. During nap time there is really much for a teacher to do, so that when you would put a lot of the art work up of do some of you paper work. Me what would i do, I would cut facial hair out of construction paper and when the kids would wake up i would put it on them. So just imagine a room with ah 15 kids give or take a few with beards goatees and mustaches. Yea we would be having a blast eating snack hanging out. This all started when a kid shaved his eyebrows off and i felt bad so i made him some and it just kept going.

Well if it isn't Mr. Fartbagt!

There have been a lot of stories that I have herd why me and my ex broke up. I guess its just what happens when peoples minds wonder. Its has always been funny to me to hear about how i cheated or she cheated or someone got pregnate when none of that is true. But the last thing I herd was baffling to me on how in the hell it could be true. Let me get this clear before i go any further i have never or will never (pending hard evedence) belive anything that is told to be. So with that out of the way i was told that we split up because I was leading a double life. When hearing this I quickly broke into laughter then craped my pants. After doing this I got to thinking what if i had a double life what would i be? Maybe I was a secret agent flying around to diffrent countries killing people. Or maybe my other life i was a drug lord and i just used every thing i did during the day as a front. Ah what about a stripper i know plenty of women folk who would like to put dollars in my undies. Could i have a whole nother family i dunno. What if i was a prince of a forgein country yea that sounds good. lol sadly i am not any of these im just a ruglar guy, but its still funny how peoples minds wonder. I just sit back relax and let the dumb people do dumb stuff for me, so i have something to write about. Well either that or i go out with my friends and I do something creative. lol

I told my mom no pickles, GOSH!

So there are a lot of thing I'm not proud of, the night i stole Christmas was not one of the things im not proud of. This was truly a night i will tell everyone i meet, it just to damn funny.



I met some guys at a friends house and we all decide to ride to another friends house where more people were hanging out at. So i catch a ride with Tid and Chase (two funny funny people) We get to this guys house and it this first time Ive been here and everyone is hanging out in the basement. we walk in and dang this is pretty cool big screen TV and a PS two (yea it was that long ago that a PS two was cool) we goofed off and played games cracked jokes. Until this guy names Pace challenges me to a game of chess. Now if you know me the is one thing for sure I'm not the sharpest knife in the kitchen, so why in the hell would i play chess. Because Pace get on my nerves an he i just as dumb as me so game on bitches. Watching us play at first is Tid and chase, we all start drinking from the antique coke machine that they had. By the end of the second game everyone is watching us and all the coke is out of the machine. Three people drank every coke in the machine. Needless to say the owner was not to pleased at all. So the party breaks up and everyone goes there separate ways except for me, chase, and Tid. Its December and where we are there are a lot of decorations out in peoples yards. I holler at Tid to pull over he think i got to pee or something but no i take off running and i take all the candy canes in the yard and run back to the car and i fall trying to run up a hill, let the fun begin, i think it was like 5 or 6. I get back to the car and everyone is getty with joy and we are laughing really hard. We don't get two blocks when chase says stop the car and Tid does and he shoots out of the car and snatches up half the damn yard. I was amazed but chase did play football and could run like a deer. He get back to the car with at least 10 or fifteen different things. I was topped and i couldn't let this happen. We go maybe two houses down and i yell stop Tid does and the yard is full of crap except and all three of us get out and grab all we can by the end of this at least 10 - 15 yard are missing their decorations, and they are in Tid's car. I know what your asking yourself why would i do such a thing and what the hell did you do with all the decorations? Well had all had about 20 cokes each in like a hour period so we where jacked up and mix it with adrenaline and we were turbo jacked, and the best part about it all was was put in my friend Dug parent's yard. It was amazing the sight of the what was 10 - 15 yards worth of Christmas decorations. Yes i stole Christmas and it was fun. Wait that sounds really bad.

AWWWWW Snap!

So at work today i had to get a lot of stuff done like pay a phone bill, buy my books, and get a present for someone. And yes it had to be done right then and there. So i went in early so i could get it done off the clock and not get in trouble. Because i knew i wouldnt have time to get all this done after work plus i needed to pay my bill asap and want my books to ship out that day and if i tryed to do this befor work i would of been late. witch now that I look back i should of just come in late. So i walk in get on go to the place i need to pay my bill and the lady that works behind me walks up and just starts staring at the screen nothing eles just staring at the screen. I say politly "Do you need something", "no" she say. Then why the hell are you lookingg at my info you crazy lady. so i turn the monitor off and explain to her the deal and she says ok. So I turn around again and get started and shure enough she does the same thing. So i cut to the chase and tell her to go away, and she does, but instead of leaving me alone she starts asking me the dumbest questiong like what the weather is going to be like and how tall is sanata clause and how much is the doggy in the window and stuff about tyler perry so i turn around and explain once again that i need to get this done and stop talking to me and I will be more than pleased to answer any and all of lifes questions when i get done. She gets mad and storms off. Thank goodness she is gone, back to work. 5 min. into it and i mean just 5 min, into it and someone else walk up to me, and im not to happy about this guy showing up. He is one of those guys who doesnt know when to leave and when your trying to be nice he doesnt get the picture. So i tell him as soon as he walks up to me I am very bust go away. This is what he says word for word, "Oh yea man i totaly understand your trying to do something like REALLy important and someone wont stop talking to you like when my wife is at home and im trying to watch something on t.v. and she is all like bla bla bla and im all like babe im trying to watch this and she is al like bla bla bla and im all like babe im watchin something on tv and she is still like bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla and im get up and yell at here DAMNIT BABE IM TRYING TO WATCH THIS ON THE NFL NETWORK AND YOU GETTING ON MY FUCKING NERVES BABE then she get the fucking piture and then i can watch what im watching and when im done im all like ok babe what did you want and it usually something stupid so i know exactly how it is mantrust me i know" all i can do or say is "shut the fuck up and go away before i hit you in your tiny head" that might get anyone to leave but not this guy he says "whoa totaly get the picture dude you must really have something important your trying to do so yea i can totaly understand why you need to pay attention so you dont like mess anything up you know what i mean" i throw a box at him and he scampers off in fear. now i can get down to business because its business time (thank you Flight of the conchords) so i get my books paid for and im almost done with the rest until someone eles comes walking up and he says he man what ya doin? i tell him i was trying to get something done and he says really what and walksup and starts looking on the screen and trying to be nosey then i turn the monitor off and hit him with a box and told him to fuck off and he tryed to explain he was just trying to help and i screamed at him no words just screaming because he was making my head hurt so bad i had to scream at him. he also scampered off and then i finaly got everything done just in time to clock i on time for work. thank goodness i have a job.

Sometime i like to pee in the dark.

things i have done that really don't have a story but are funny.

1. Cried at the end of harry and the Henderson's movie

2. Threw up in the movie theater while watching turner and hooch\

3. Cried at batteries not included movie

4. Threw up at the theater at K-9

5. Once poured Ajax on my swimming trunks and went streaking to the pool and jumped in naked.

6. Ruined my sisters 13Th or 14Th birthday party by walking around with my shirt off and flexing for the ladies.

7. Blew my sister birthday candles out with my nose

8. Used my sisters left over icing from her cake to make a beard.

9. got my hand stuck in the VCR for about a hour while i was home alone, i was like 11.

10. I was kicked in the nut by a kid tackling the tackle dummy during practice.

11. Went on a walk and saw two deer getting it on.

12.

(I WILL KEEP ADDING TO THIS AS I REMEMBER SO CHECK BACK FOR MORE FUNNY OR IF YOU HAVE ONE FEEL FREE TO ADD BUT ITS SOMETHING I DID THAT DOESN'T REALLY HAVE A STORY, IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING I JUST DID)

Why yes I am happy to see you and yes that is a bananna in my pocket.

I talked about in earlyer blogs how i used to be a pre-school teacher and i guess another funny story or thing i used to do involved the DHS lady.

Every so often we would have a visit from the DHS lady. She was an older hispanic woman and fairly atractive. Everyone would get nervous when she showed up, not me though I was never worried about here i would just alaways do what i did, whitch wasnt always what i was suppose to do tehe.She would never right me up though, probubly because i would flirt my ass off with here, never anything more lets get this clear because I had a Girlfriend and that shit is a no no with me. So she would ask me questions about the kids and i would answer them with the dumbest questions ever. Here is an example, DHS lady: What time did you wash the childern's hands Mr. Seth , Mr. Seth: Wow DHS Lady you smell amazing, and your shoes wow. , DHS Lady: Oh why thank you Mr. Seth its a new fragrance I'm trying. , Mr Seth: well its devine. DHS Lady: Oh thank you. Then she would leave me alone and our room would be cool. So either she thought I was hot or really really slow.

Either way it save my ass many many many many many of time.

let me go ahead and apologize ahead of time (adult content)

I've been to Knoxville plenty of times to realize that I would have failed miserably if i tried to go there, so like a smart person i just visited friend that attended there and yes there are plenty of good stories that came from my visits.On one visit Mike and I went up for the UGA game it was awesome. Georgia smashed them but that's not where the story is even though in that game Georgia ran back a 98 yard fumble. Its what happen after the game that made this trip magical.

We arrive in Knoxville and the smell of liquor hits my face like a brick, Mike looks at me and says this will be the best trip ever, and i agree. We show up to my friend Dug's apartment with a bag of clothes and a bottle of liquor each. Mike went with E & J and I went with Absolute, and we could of wet with the small bottles but noooooooooooooooooooo we went with the big boys. This was going to be a fun night to say the least. We get to the apartment and get started or at least catch up. The rest of the night is kinda a bler with flashes of stupid stuff we did like when Brando showed up after the game explaining about how he ran from the stadium and how he snuck liquor in by taping zip locked bags to his legs lol. Another one was when Mike was walking to the store to get some more drink and the helicopter hit him with the spot lite and he came back and we asked him why he same back and all he would say is "the helicopter caught me, freaking commies.". Or there was the breaking glass incident when me and dug were talking a really attractive girl way to pretty for me, and i mean WAY to pretty for me, or even Dug ( he is my pretty friend, and I'm not ashamed to admit it). So we are talking and i have had one, two, ten to many and I say something along the lines about how big Dug is ( I've herd rumors, but never positively confirmed this) and smash my glass cup on the ground and run off. Why would I do such a thing you ask, because I was batman and when your batman when you want to leave a situation you gotta got out like batman and distract everyone when you leave, so i smashed a glass on the ground and scampered off. There was also the time that dug called a beeper to come pick him up but he didn't show for three hours and when he did i was the only one outside and i made him take me to the store to get some more drink, so yes i posed as a frat boy for ten min. The Vic and Bill's incident was a good one Dug wanted to take us and it was late and we were hungry so we went. We get there and its packed, but we find a booth and we sit down dug get our food order for us so we are all three waiting at our booth when all of a sudden this girl come and sits down next to me and just starts talking to us like she has been there the whole time, but she hasn't and she is getting on my nerves because she wont shut up and she is obviously flirting with Dug and her gay friend is creeping me out big time. So I look at her and ask I'm my most sobering voice "UMMM are we going to make out or what?" She politely answers " Oh my god, no way ugh" so i nicely say " the get the f**** out of my booth stupid" when her gay friend say " damn girl he told you" and I laugh at her. then when we exit Vic and Bills there are two girls having trouble finding there cell phone and ask us to help them find it its in there car so we do. Then all of a sudden two large black me walk up and say very nicely
"what the hell are yall doing" dug quickly defuses the situation that I made easy because I kept shouting we are on the same team because I noticed that they were Georgia fans. So we finally get home and lay down for bed and i pass out immediately. I'm sleeping like a baby when to guys enter the room and wake me up by shaking my leg and calling me dug. they turn on the lights and say "your not dug" when i say "na duh what the hell are you guys" and they say "who the hell are you" this wen on for ten min and i can't help but notice that they have just shaved there heads with razors, how do you know that you may ask, well i can tell because the have cuts in there heads and are bleeding slightly in different areas on there heads. We finally figure out we are both friends of Dug's and I go back to sleep. This was just the first night. WOW!

IF YOU READ THIS BLOG!

IF YOU READ THIS BLOG PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT AND NOT ON THIS PARTICULAR BLOG BUT ON ALL MY BLOGS. THIS WAY I KNOW IF SOMETHING IS FUNNY OR NOT AND I CAN KIND OF KEEP UP WITH HOW MANY PEOPLE READ MY BLOG OTHER THAN THAT HAVE A GREAT DAY!