Good evening. I'm Ron Burgundy and here's what happening in your world tonight

sitting in class when your almost an hour in a half early is no fun, at least not when its just you and a pregnant lady and she farts and tries to play it off like nothing happen, oh but i know and i know she knows i know. Stinky hooker

yea she dumb, but she mine, alllllll miiiiiine

I once made a promise to myself i would never ever write about what happens to me at my job in fear of what could happen to me. after much thinking and coaxing from a friend i have decided to do away with that promise only because some of my best stories are now because of the the people i work with. to put it nicely they are all insane and here is how i deiced to prove it with some life lessons, but no real name will be used and you will never know where i work, unless of course you are ready know where i work or you work with me oh creepy if you read my blog.

TO start thing off im going to write a story that i tell a lot of people about little ol lady. yes thats the name i gave her shut up. Ok it was me Nard Dog, Mac C and Lil ol lady and we all went to grab a bite to eat at the local el chico, me and the nard dog frequented there at this time to get away from the place we call work any who we are sitting there looking at our menus figuring out what we wanted to eat so i order some cheese dip while we look the was the usual for me and the nard dog well lil ol lady starts looking at us funny and says "what is that?, What Is That?, WHAT IS THAT?" now i can do it any justice but just think about the funniest lil old lady voice saying that and you will be close. so i tell here its cheese dip "ohhhhhhh cheese?" at this point i can only Columbus find the Americas had the same reaction to finding something new so the nard dog ask if she would like to try some and she is all about some cheese dip at this time i ,mean she is going at it with fury and rage i have never seen before the whole time saying "oh it so geewd oh so geewed oh geewed" then nard dog says "he said you could try it no eat all of it" with her mouth full of cheese dip and chips she says "sorry but its so geewed" thats not the grossest part of this outing there was the simple fact that the little ol lady never realized she had cheeses dip all around her mouth, you also have to understand at el chico they sell two different types of cheese dip there is yellow and there is white we had bout the white so it looked like well i think you get the idea with out me going on if not then go rub white cheese dip all over your face an figure it out for yourself and no i didnt tell her because if i did it wouldnt be funny if i did.

I pooted on your pillow, i hope you get pink eye.

So my birthday is 3 days away and i plan on doing a special "super fantastic explosive edition" of Because poop smells like shit, that's the name of my blog for those that didn't pay attention, in this edition there will be over 83 hours of my life photographed and or written about. It will be fantastic and yes kinda sad. We will grow together as you read it so get ready for an all new train wreck of fun, silliness, and sorrow i call life. thanks again and keep doing what ever it is you do to get paid or for fun in between reading my blog Oh and go see Zombie land it fuckin rocks.

I was never picked last in kickball.

I have always thought stereo types were funny and I don't tend to abide by any maybe some that don't fit who i am but they are silly. Whats even funner is when something happens to you that is so stereo typical that I don't wanna think its real. Like the time i was arrested at a Lynard Skynard concert for drinking.

It was the summer I was going into my Junior year of high school and we had tickets to see , don't judge me, Travis Tritt and Lynard Skynard. I figured I should go because I was a white boy in the south and its our birth right to see them at least once i don't know why but then again i don't make the rules. Its an awesome day the sun is shining bright, and one of the guys we are with found a 21 bracelet, its the thing you get I.D.ed for so you can drink. They ask me if i wanted a beer and you know what I didn't, yes i actually passed on a beer. They come back and travis tritt is squaking bout some bs and we are just hanging out having fun, when one of my friends has to go to the bathroom and asks me to hold his beer. I don't think anything of it, so when he comes back and security is with him because the stopped to get a couple more and the security decided to do there jobs and ask questions I'm now holding a beer that im not drinking in front of the man. now we are marched to the back to the police substation, with the theme music of travis tritt, how fitting. We get to the back and we get a chance to call our parents to pick us up, sure enough i cant get ahold of mine so now they are taking about if i don't get ahold of anyone then I'm going to jail, great i would say something smart but its not security guards any more its the police and I'm like 15 so im scared.
I finally get someone and i cant believe that i got this person but they bailed my ass out big time. I had my grandmother come get me. Well she can't drive at night so she had my uncle drive her and they came and got me. This was punishment enough i thought being walked out by your grandmother. To top things off when we are driving home my uncle gets pulled over because the officer saw us leave the concert and thought he might of been drinking. When I got home I got it from my mom really bad, but what you have to understand is my mother is the master of evil punishments it all worked out I was alive.

how am i suppose to look you in the eye when you have a booger hanging out of your nose.

Being a preschool teacher, as i said before, will always be the best job I've ever had, also the best birth control ever. During nap time there is really much for a teacher to do, so that when you would put a lot of the art work up of do some of you paper work. Me what would i do, I would cut facial hair out of construction paper and when the kids would wake up i would put it on them. So just imagine a room with ah 15 kids give or take a few with beards goatees and mustaches. Yea we would be having a blast eating snack hanging out. This all started when a kid shaved his eyebrows off and i felt bad so i made him some and it just kept going.

I told my mom no pickles, GOSH!

So there are a lot of thing I'm not proud of, the night i stole Christmas was not one of the things im not proud of. This was truly a night i will tell everyone i meet, it just to damn funny.



I met some guys at a friends house and we all decide to ride to another friends house where more people were hanging out at. So i catch a ride with Tid and Chase (two funny funny people) We get to this guys house and it this first time Ive been here and everyone is hanging out in the basement. we walk in and dang this is pretty cool big screen TV and a PS two (yea it was that long ago that a PS two was cool) we goofed off and played games cracked jokes. Until this guy names Pace challenges me to a game of chess. Now if you know me the is one thing for sure I'm not the sharpest knife in the kitchen, so why in the hell would i play chess. Because Pace get on my nerves an he i just as dumb as me so game on bitches. Watching us play at first is Tid and chase, we all start drinking from the antique coke machine that they had. By the end of the second game everyone is watching us and all the coke is out of the machine. Three people drank every coke in the machine. Needless to say the owner was not to pleased at all. So the party breaks up and everyone goes there separate ways except for me, chase, and Tid. Its December and where we are there are a lot of decorations out in peoples yards. I holler at Tid to pull over he think i got to pee or something but no i take off running and i take all the candy canes in the yard and run back to the car and i fall trying to run up a hill, let the fun begin, i think it was like 5 or 6. I get back to the car and everyone is getty with joy and we are laughing really hard. We don't get two blocks when chase says stop the car and Tid does and he shoots out of the car and snatches up half the damn yard. I was amazed but chase did play football and could run like a deer. He get back to the car with at least 10 or fifteen different things. I was topped and i couldn't let this happen. We go maybe two houses down and i yell stop Tid does and the yard is full of crap except and all three of us get out and grab all we can by the end of this at least 10 - 15 yard are missing their decorations, and they are in Tid's car. I know what your asking yourself why would i do such a thing and what the hell did you do with all the decorations? Well had all had about 20 cokes each in like a hour period so we where jacked up and mix it with adrenaline and we were turbo jacked, and the best part about it all was was put in my friend Dug parent's yard. It was amazing the sight of the what was 10 - 15 yards worth of Christmas decorations. Yes i stole Christmas and it was fun. Wait that sounds really bad.

Sometime i like to pee in the dark.

things i have done that really don't have a story but are funny.

1. Cried at the end of harry and the Henderson's movie

2. Threw up in the movie theater while watching turner and hooch\

3. Cried at batteries not included movie

4. Threw up at the theater at K-9

5. Once poured Ajax on my swimming trunks and went streaking to the pool and jumped in naked.

6. Ruined my sisters 13Th or 14Th birthday party by walking around with my shirt off and flexing for the ladies.

7. Blew my sister birthday candles out with my nose

8. Used my sisters left over icing from her cake to make a beard.

9. got my hand stuck in the VCR for about a hour while i was home alone, i was like 11.

10. I was kicked in the nut by a kid tackling the tackle dummy during practice.

11. Went on a walk and saw two deer getting it on.

12.

(I WILL KEEP ADDING TO THIS AS I REMEMBER SO CHECK BACK FOR MORE FUNNY OR IF YOU HAVE ONE FEEL FREE TO ADD BUT ITS SOMETHING I DID THAT DOESN'T REALLY HAVE A STORY, IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING I JUST DID)

24 Hoours with Seth!

In this blog you will be reading what I do in a 24 hour period, what a normal day in my life is, and what music I listen to while I'm doing what I'm doing. I don't write down everything and I set my Zune to random, so that is how i chose the music i listen to. If this goes over well then I will try and do this more often.



July 7, 2009



4:30 am Woke up to go on my walk/jog.



4:32 am When back to sleep



5:30 am Wake up to start my day hop on the scale , cool i almost lost all my 4th weight i gained. Then droped a duece. hoped on the scale now i lost all the 4th weight. Now i gots to get my coffe.



5:45 am hop on facebook not much going on. reply to Michale H. post. watch a video my brother in law posted (funny funny funny) Whatching jordan sparks video Battlefield



6:30 am should be getting ready for work but going to play farkle instead woohoo



6:54 am got ready fr work going out the door tell my mother bye and luv you, yes thats right 26 and living at home, just living the dream every day



7:15 am getting to work listen to drake - best i ever had the whole way. Luv it.



7:20 am clock in



7:20:30 am thinking of a way to go home early, deside to stay.



7:50 am nard dog shows up for work we chit chat, he tells me stuff like how his wife ripped a nasty fart the we joke about the river boat bandits



8:18 am Deep disscusion on the the tree amigos movie



8:20 am zune goes on, first song Ben Harper - faded woohoo



8:25 am Nard Dog & I talk about reciving and their awesome work eithic

( Back Kids - not going to teach your boyfriend how to dance)



8:28 am Nard dog & I discuss group nick names we are so Gnarles barkley or the Lone Rangers, COFFE BREAK!

(Delta Spirit - the step and the walk)



8:34 am RIVERBOAT BANDITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Jake One - God Like)



8:34 am Our Local Dummy leaves early woohoo

(Firemen - Sign the Change)



8:50 am fart on little old lady

( Jack Johnson - Sleep Threw the static)



9:00 am Break Dance Fighting with the Nard Dog

( Kelly Stoltz - Wave Goodbye)



9:13 am Thinking about what i did last night not to happy, fart on little old lady feel a little better, hurry up 10 o'clock

( J mascist and Friends - Please remember I'm here)



9:30 am Me & The Nard Dog disscus the inner workings of our job =)

(Oh No - Action)



9:44 am Cell Phone Bill Paid

(Death Cab For Cutie - I will posses your heart)



10:00 am Break Time fuck yea bro, The Nard dog rags on me about my blog and about my snack choice and the he crack off color MJ joke. Johnny Boy does his lunges by the break area. JV shows up we disscuss poop and putting eggs on our salad yummy! Nard dog v/s banna , Nard Dog wins.



10:24 am break over someone shoots me Nard Dog makes fun of the riverboat bandits and our local dummy again and i do too.

(Louie Armstrong - What a wonderful world)



10:40 am Dance to Beyonce's crazy on love



10:42 am Booger sighting

(Massive attach - Angel)



10:58 am Nard Dog and Jonny Boy try and get me to skip afternoon workout, no way! I lied, I lied it was me trying to get them to go.

(Ray Lamontange - hanna)



11:15 am Hahahah We are going to Elchico to eat woohoo

( Burdon Brothers - If your going to heaven)



11:30 am Arguing With Cuz K about cats, hate them.

( Flogging Molly - The light of a fading star)



11:38 am Giggles Mcgee Sighting

(Flogging Molly - Float)



12:00 pm LUNCH TIME OH YEA , lunch was cool, got our regular waitress johnny boy made her mad over some sour cream, we vented about work and now back to work we go boo who? good time

(Drop Kick Murphys - The rocky road to dublin)



1:30 pm Nard Dog get into a shit talking contest, funny funny, the quick talk about life, deat, and video games, just the norm in the warehouse.

( Kelly Stoltz - Everything Begins)



1:50 pm Just Found out Kareeoke on second break

( Flogging Molly - The Likes of You)



1:55 pm Scratch that we are hackin

(Silversun Pickups - Three Seed)



1:56 pm Droped a Duece

( Dropkick Murphys - Hey Little rich Boy)



2:05 pm Nard Dog rags on my bloging again

(Ben Folds Five - Army)



2:18 pm Johnny boy being sassy

(Fjiya & Miyagi - Cassett single)



2:38 pm Light say i look tired, i am and its showing really bad

(Ben Folds Five - Jackson Canery)



3:00 pm Hacking was ok



3:36 pm Made a new word hobully (hopefully) Nard Dog Made suere i Knew about it

( Pearl Jam - Last Exit)



3:39 pm Farted on little old lady

(Noah and the whale - Rocks and Daggers)



3:46 pm light talking about beating people up again, oh no

( Wilco - Monday)



3:54 pm Lesson about elvis from vinney B

(New Found Glory - Sincerly Me)



4:09 pm Big Curtis shows up day almost over, farted on little old lady

(Death Cab for Cutie - Twin Sized Bed)



4:23 pm Last few minutes of work and it glorious

(cypresshill - aint going out like that)



4:30 pm Off work on my way home, yayaya

(David Banhart I just feel like a child)

(Rancid - I aint worried)

(Jim Jones - This is the life)



4:45 pm I think i made cuz K mad, I did call her horse face

( Dropkick Murphys - Captain Kellys Kitchen)



4:55 pm Cuz K is cool now she made fun of my toe, Note to slef dont mention horse head around cuz k

(Killswitch Engadge - Holy Diver)



5:05 pm DM just reminded me about a funny story i need to blog about, yayayay her

(El Michels Affair - Behind the Blue Curtins)



5:12 pm JPVS is picking on me now im sad and crying, she is funny. My mom bout me a shirt. I feel even better now, awesome.

(Matt Costa - Songs We Sing)



5:24 pm Gone to shower then off to Academy sports fun balls

( Old Crow Medicine Show - Let it Alone)



6:30 pm Bout some ankle weights and a workout ball, yea thats right a workout ball.

(Daughtry - Over You)



6:45 pm Some kid are selling water by the side of the road. Wanna know how i found out? One of the kids ran up banged on my window and yelled at me "HEY MISTA YOU WANT TO BUY SOME WATER" My response was a very loud masculine scream.

( Drake - Best I Ever Had)



7:00 pm watching Ultimate 100 fights with pops and talking a little fighting too.



8:19 pm Thinking about starting to work on my blog its going to take a while to finish, I think i have had better ideas. My mom brings my icream i am a complet loser, but i have ice cream so ha!



9:05 pm Instead of starting on this blog I write about the time I was chased by a fox, yup thats right i was chased by a fox and it wasnt that fun.



9:30 pm Playing Farkle can not belive that LA beat my score.



9:45 starting to think that this blog is going to take for ever to spell check, because i can not spell at all, this is now a horrible idea.



10:00 pm gone to bed good night world.





4:30 am wake up to go walk/jog and you know how the rest goes



There you go 24 hours of my life in a blog, wow im boring. Thanks for reading let me know what you think?