So Ive been Sick for three days.

Ive have been sick for three days and I'm just now starting to feel a little normal, an i have found out some new things about myself

- Its possible to watch every season of the office in under a day
- season two is and always will be my favorite
- you can live off of diet mountain dew for three days, not recommended but you can
- grilled cheese sandwiches made by my mother are still the best thing in the world and nothing will change that
- i have gotten more sleep than i have ever gotten and it still doesn't make me feel any better
-night Quill is amazing
- sometimes toast with nothing on it is exactly what it is, cardboard
-finally ate normal food, waffles with syrup kinda tasted weird with diet mountain dew
- strange enough id rather be at work
- when you start to hallucinate its time to take a nap
-with a soar throat gargling salt water is never fun but is necessary
- being sick comfortable is not a word its more like manageable

Yea i just rubbed that, all over my face.*

Some of my stories happen at a happy little place called Three Crow Bar and for good reason. Its a good place to hang out with people. Plus two for one Wed & Sun is good enuff for me to stop by and say hi. Well one particular night with my friend ben we had an espicially fun evening.

We get there and we find a table and leap on it as fast as possible, I think i even elbowed a nin to get to my table. So we are hangin out having a blast playing cheesey ass songs on the Jukebox. It was a wicked good time. Then all of a sudden this hot girl comes to our table and starts chatting us up. Now this is not the norm for three crow, not because im not attractive, lets face it im hot, ok now we have that out of the way, she is really cool and fun to talk to i make her laugh ben makes her laugh she makes us laugh then all of a sundden she looks at a table behind her and ill be damned if its not full of at least 6 other fine girls. At this point i take a mental not as to what i have one, what i did that day and how i did it, because obviously what ever i did it worked ( side note i copied eveything i did that day one time and went to three crow on a 2 4 1 night and it did not work at all) they all come over and i ask them what they do for a living, you know just making convo, & being the nice guy i am. When all of them say what they do. Ladies and gents im not lieing to you when i write this, this is really what they do. a libraryan, a firewoman, a teacher, a doctor, a vetinarian, a dentist. Me and ben look at each other wow they are girls and have real jobs this is to crazy. They ask me and ben and we tell them they giggle not because our jobs suck but because we both have funny stories that go with our jobs. We get a round of shots and befor we take them something hits me. I lean over to be and say this. " you do realize the last time we hang out with these girls was when we were four and the were in a childrens book." ben looks at me then at them and says "yea but im 26 and they are fine and they are real now" Needless too say we didnt hook up with any of them, sad i know, but it was funny. They were cool, we were nice so it was a good time. We see the girls out randomly but never as a group, till this day we never see them out as a group and its usually just one of the never together. Side story when we first started talking to them one of the girls said this to ben "you sir are a thug" ben "what?, how the hell am i thug" girl " you sir are put together well and smell good" ben "then i guess i am a thug" Seth " and i smell like shit"


* - still working on this

It was kinda like poking myself in the eye!

I have been on bad dates then there was the most amazing time i had the other night and this is how it broke down.

We were suppose to eat at 7 but it all kinda broke down she was going to be there later and we didn't eat until 745 good start.

we get there about 8 fifteen minutes after our new time and a hour from our original.

normally I'm a great conversationalist lol but i guess i went completely retarded because i would talk and i would get nothing so knowing the person i am ill only be able to do this for another hour and I'm going to give up.

so we get done eating and i manage to salvage some of the dinner, yes I'm that good, good enough to earn a peck kiss awe shucks. after dinner we head to one of my favorite bars good ol three crow bar woohoo at least i will be comfortable.

so i get there oh and i did forget to mention I'm going to meet couple of her friend um like 8 with out knowing a fucking person this should be fucking awesome if you cant tell my level of pissed ness has risen.

we get there and go to the bar and instead of sitting next to me she sits next to her gay (this is what girls call their gay male friend) instead of me, making talking the easiest this in the world now especially in a bar setting. I'm back on the clock the hour is counting down.

after spending fifteen minutes of throwing napkin balls in to a trash can i get introduced to her friends she introduces me as her date and in a joking manner i say i wouldn't go that far, we all laugh witch is surprising, but it worked, ah now back to working on my jump shot

the bartender asked me to stop making a mess, so i do, but now i need to find something else to do, oh wow she came over and said hi and gave a mercy hug, how lucky am i right now, about thirty min left and I'm gone

wow more friends show up this is getting better oh ouch she totally forgot to introduce me ouch ouch ouch guess those are two more people i will never have the pleasure of knowing damn that sucks bla lol

so for the last fifteen minutes i entertain myself with giving everyone else dialog in my head if they aren't going to talk to me i might as well make them talk so much fun

well times up i tell her I'm heading out and she doesn't even get up to tell me bye dang that hurts real bad not really it makes for a faster escape hahaha freedom now off to home so i cant sleep off this horrible night

Dates are baaaaaaaaaaaaaad and then they are really bad take my advice don't get upset or mad just make the most of it sure when all said and done you may feel like it was a big waste of time but in the end you end up looking like the better person for reals. haha

Why yes I am happy to see you and yes that is a bananna in my pocket.

I talked about in earlyer blogs how i used to be a pre-school teacher and i guess another funny story or thing i used to do involved the DHS lady.

Every so often we would have a visit from the DHS lady. She was an older hispanic woman and fairly atractive. Everyone would get nervous when she showed up, not me though I was never worried about here i would just alaways do what i did, whitch wasnt always what i was suppose to do tehe.She would never right me up though, probubly because i would flirt my ass off with here, never anything more lets get this clear because I had a Girlfriend and that shit is a no no with me. So she would ask me questions about the kids and i would answer them with the dumbest questions ever. Here is an example, DHS lady: What time did you wash the childern's hands Mr. Seth , Mr. Seth: Wow DHS Lady you smell amazing, and your shoes wow. , DHS Lady: Oh why thank you Mr. Seth its a new fragrance I'm trying. , Mr Seth: well its devine. DHS Lady: Oh thank you. Then she would leave me alone and our room would be cool. So either she thought I was hot or really really slow.

Either way it save my ass many many many many many of time.

let me go ahead and apologize ahead of time (adult content)

I've been to Knoxville plenty of times to realize that I would have failed miserably if i tried to go there, so like a smart person i just visited friend that attended there and yes there are plenty of good stories that came from my visits.On one visit Mike and I went up for the UGA game it was awesome. Georgia smashed them but that's not where the story is even though in that game Georgia ran back a 98 yard fumble. Its what happen after the game that made this trip magical.

We arrive in Knoxville and the smell of liquor hits my face like a brick, Mike looks at me and says this will be the best trip ever, and i agree. We show up to my friend Dug's apartment with a bag of clothes and a bottle of liquor each. Mike went with E & J and I went with Absolute, and we could of wet with the small bottles but noooooooooooooooooooo we went with the big boys. This was going to be a fun night to say the least. We get to the apartment and get started or at least catch up. The rest of the night is kinda a bler with flashes of stupid stuff we did like when Brando showed up after the game explaining about how he ran from the stadium and how he snuck liquor in by taping zip locked bags to his legs lol. Another one was when Mike was walking to the store to get some more drink and the helicopter hit him with the spot lite and he came back and we asked him why he same back and all he would say is "the helicopter caught me, freaking commies.". Or there was the breaking glass incident when me and dug were talking a really attractive girl way to pretty for me, and i mean WAY to pretty for me, or even Dug ( he is my pretty friend, and I'm not ashamed to admit it). So we are talking and i have had one, two, ten to many and I say something along the lines about how big Dug is ( I've herd rumors, but never positively confirmed this) and smash my glass cup on the ground and run off. Why would I do such a thing you ask, because I was batman and when your batman when you want to leave a situation you gotta got out like batman and distract everyone when you leave, so i smashed a glass on the ground and scampered off. There was also the time that dug called a beeper to come pick him up but he didn't show for three hours and when he did i was the only one outside and i made him take me to the store to get some more drink, so yes i posed as a frat boy for ten min. The Vic and Bill's incident was a good one Dug wanted to take us and it was late and we were hungry so we went. We get there and its packed, but we find a booth and we sit down dug get our food order for us so we are all three waiting at our booth when all of a sudden this girl come and sits down next to me and just starts talking to us like she has been there the whole time, but she hasn't and she is getting on my nerves because she wont shut up and she is obviously flirting with Dug and her gay friend is creeping me out big time. So I look at her and ask I'm my most sobering voice "UMMM are we going to make out or what?" She politely answers " Oh my god, no way ugh" so i nicely say " the get the f**** out of my booth stupid" when her gay friend say " damn girl he told you" and I laugh at her. then when we exit Vic and Bills there are two girls having trouble finding there cell phone and ask us to help them find it its in there car so we do. Then all of a sudden two large black me walk up and say very nicely
"what the hell are yall doing" dug quickly defuses the situation that I made easy because I kept shouting we are on the same team because I noticed that they were Georgia fans. So we finally get home and lay down for bed and i pass out immediately. I'm sleeping like a baby when to guys enter the room and wake me up by shaking my leg and calling me dug. they turn on the lights and say "your not dug" when i say "na duh what the hell are you guys" and they say "who the hell are you" this wen on for ten min and i can't help but notice that they have just shaved there heads with razors, how do you know that you may ask, well i can tell because the have cuts in there heads and are bleeding slightly in different areas on there heads. We finally figure out we are both friends of Dug's and I go back to sleep. This was just the first night. WOW!

IF YOU READ THIS BLOG!

IF YOU READ THIS BLOG PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT AND NOT ON THIS PARTICULAR BLOG BUT ON ALL MY BLOGS. THIS WAY I KNOW IF SOMETHING IS FUNNY OR NOT AND I CAN KIND OF KEEP UP WITH HOW MANY PEOPLE READ MY BLOG OTHER THAN THAT HAVE A GREAT DAY!

Because Bill is my friend!

When i was young my mom asked me what i wanted to be when i grew up and I told her i wanted to be an army man, she said "well go to school great and education and you can be an army man". The I said "no i don't wanna be that i want to be a police man", she said "well go to school get a good education and you can be a police man". Then i said "no I want to be a fireman, she said "well got to school and get a good education and you can be a fireman". Then I said "no I wanna be a garbage man when i grown up", she said "well go to school get a good education and you can be a garbage man". Then i said "Mom i wanna be stupid". I would like to let everyone know that I'm just living the dream!

red bull and powerboats

There have been many many weird things that have happen to me. I seem to attract strange happenings. But the weirdest thing i have ever seen in my life was a guy wearing a halo neck thingy and he was driving a four wheeler. Many thing ran threw my head at the time when i saw it, but what really made me laugh was when he turned around the see the cars behind him that was just the funnest thing ever. He had to turn his whole body around to see what was behind him, and do you think he stopped, Ummmmmmmmm no he kept on moving. Wow, it got me thinking how he got hurt in the first place. Was he doing what he was doing right now and hit a bump and fell off because he didn't learn his lesson. Maybe he fell off his horse and felt this was safer. It could of been a wind surfing accident. what ever it was i enjoyed it very much, and would like to thank him for doing something silly like that!

but i dont wanna.

Something really funny happen to me valentines night. I went out with some friend nothing romantic just something to do since we were all single and nothing was going on. We went to our usual place Three Crow Bar nothing face but a fun place to go to hang out. I recommend it if your ever in the East Nashville area. So we are there having fun cracking jokes nothing to crazy just the norm. When all of a sudden the waitress come up to me and hands me a drink and say here this woman bout this for you. Well i was amazed at first but shit ill take a free drink plus I don't think any one would put the date rape drug in my drink, well you never know. So i looked at the lady and nodded thank you. She kinda had this look of concern and started walking towards me and when she got next to me she said " um I'm sorry but that drink was meant for the guy over there" the only thing I could say was " wow that's too bad he seems nice", asshole move maybe, but the lesson learned is grow a pair and go talk to someone do just send them a drink because some jackass could get it by accident and drink it.

Spell check blog!

So i get made fun of a lot, mostly by my sister when i write stuff online, about not being able to spell. So i got to thinking its apart of me that is really funny. So i decided to write a blog with out using spell check. A lot of you might be amazed that in past blogs you might say you found a missed spelled word. Well smarty pants you didn't you just found a word spelled correctly just not used in the right way, so poo on you. I have never ever been able to spell so good, and i mean ever. To this day i still ask people how to spell certain words. Even the easy words like holiday or fart maybe even holiday. The point of this is i never really scared to write even though i was tormented by everyone for this horrible thing i have. I always write how i want to spell check or no spell check. You might wonder who i blame for this, well not my parents and not my family. Mostly i blame the metro school system for their failure to make me a better citizen. So the next time you read this blog and you are amazed by all the grammar errors, don't be because I've been doing this for years and your just now catching on, and i just don't really care because its just another thing that can make people laugh. Have a great day!

We dont need no stinking badges.

I know the tittle is double negative, shut up.

Im 26 and as i reflect at the jobs i have had I cant help but think, damn i have had a lot of diffrent job doing a lot of diffrent things. My first job was at Sport Seasons in rivergat mall. Man did that job suck butt. I got paid like a nickle a hour, but the store discount was awsome. I had a manager there named lance he was an angry nome. he still works there you should stop by and gowk at him, he is the short bald guy. Then there was the stint at the Levi store, where i work with the to biggest tools ever. But they wernt the same type of tool they were very two diffrent tools. One was, or at least thought he was a cowboy, so i would always asking cowboy questions. Like what kind of gun is best for robbing trains or when your at a bar and you want a beer and someone spits on your boot are you suppose to slap his mother or marry his sister. Just any kind of stupid question with maybe two words having to do with cowboys. The olther thought he was God's Gift to the world to everyone. So to mess with him i would always bow when he entered the room now matter what i was doing or what i had in my hands. It would piss him off especially if i had his lunch in my hands. I would also anounce his entrance to the store over the entercome, i got introuble big time. So i always did it.

Just call me Mr. Awsome.

A lot of people don't know this about me but at one point in my life i was a preschool teacher. I was a preschool teacher for about a year and it was the most fun i have ever had at a job. I worked with four year old classroom. I'm not going to say where i worked for reasons all my own.Now a lot of funny things happen but the one story that stand out to me the most is this one.

One day out at the playground i was sitting watching the kids play on the playground when another teacher came and asked me a question and we started to talk. Don't worry there were other teachers watching the kids. There was one kid in my class that i really connected with he thought i was the coolest i and i thought the exact same about him. Well i was talking to the other teacher he came up to me and tyred to get my attention. He said "Mr. Sef, Mr. Sef" ( that what the kids called me they couldn't say Mr. Seth) I told him to hold one one second, but he kept going "Mr. Sef, Mr. Sef" I told him to hold one one more time. He climb up the back side of the picnic table that i was sitting on, so i couldn't see him. He said "Mr. Sef" I said what is it and turned my head. As soon as i got all the way around i was met with a fist to the the temple. This four year old drops me to my knees. It was a flash knockout. He jumps on my back and starts laughing. It was a joke to him, but not really to me because i just got knockout by a four year old. Man i miss that job sometimes.

But why can't I?

My friend Mike has got to be one of the coolest people in the world he has also got to be the one person i enjoy making laugh more than anything in this world. Why? Well because when he is truly laughing it is a sight to see. But this story isn't about Mike laughing its about Mike almost killing someone and its not sad hell Mike even laughs at it now. Well at least i think he does.

Me, Mike, and well lets just say it was me and Mike were at a party at R.W. house and we were just hanging out having fun. I was being my usually loud and crazy self and Mike was just hanging out. We knew a lot of people the mostly people i hung out with when i was in high school and now we are all in college and just hanging out. Well one of the people i hung out with in H.S. was there and we will just call him J.G. was there and he was starting to get on Mike's nerves and he was getting uneasy. J.G. kept nagging him and nagging and wouldn't stop you could actually see Mike starting to get pissed off and was uneasy. The J.G. said something really dumb to Mike. He said " Me and you man see man me and you are the same we are just alike" witch was a far from the truth as possible. I haven't see a person almost rip the soul out of another many times but Mike almost did. He don't like hearing bullshit to ofter and he hit his limit that night and so they start arguing. They star bickering and the only thing i could hear before it got broke up was Mike saying this " You know why i don't like you, because when you were in elementary school you wore Nike's and when i was in elementary school i wore voit's and I'm still bitter about that shit bitch" greatest quote ever right there every time i hear that it still makes me smile.

King of the appla.

When someone looks you in the eye and says "you know in retrospect my hindsight is 20-20" You look them in the eye and say "flabgabba goob" and stab them in the head with a pencil.Or at least thats what i wanted to do. Why say flabgabba goob because that makes and much since as what they said.

How to remain clam in a burning building.

The summer of 2002 I was visiting my friend Elliot in the boro. it was me, Tid, Aron, i think Greene and chase and some other people. I just can't remember them. We were hanging out doin stupid stuff as we would usually do, when the most outrageous offer ever presented itself to us. Elliot's neighbor walked over with a keg in his hand and said "hey you guys want this, yall can have the beer we just need the keg back and we don't have a pump" he had a party the night before and it was what was left over it was about half full. So of course we took it. Now this is where the challenge presented itself to use. How do we get the beer out? We tryed many different things so many i don't remember all of the but i do remember what worked. What we would do is first shake the keg then take the bottom half of a funnel that we had cut off and shove it in the neck of the keg cosing the beer to spray out, and it would spray all over the place. We collected the beer in a gallon milk jug with the top cut off then we would pour it into a pitcher and place it in the fridge. we did this until all the beer was gone, and yes i was the guy that shook the keg and the guy that would shove the nossel in the neck to get the beer out. If you don't believe me Tid has a video of me doing this with my shirt off. Not most outstanding moment, but it was funny as hell.

Yes I shot the Dog.

A lot of dumb shit happens to me in my life. So much so its not believable at all. So I have decided to catalog all the dumb, silly, stupid, and down right awesome things that happens to me, my friends, and family in this blog. I will not use real names so my friends and family will be safe from any harassment that may come there way because of this blog. So thank you fro reading and enjoy the car wreck that has become my life.