how am i suppose to look you in the eye when you have a booger hanging out of your nose.

Being a preschool teacher, as i said before, will always be the best job I've ever had, also the best birth control ever. During nap time there is really much for a teacher to do, so that when you would put a lot of the art work up of do some of you paper work. Me what would i do, I would cut facial hair out of construction paper and when the kids would wake up i would put it on them. So just imagine a room with ah 15 kids give or take a few with beards goatees and mustaches. Yea we would be having a blast eating snack hanging out. This all started when a kid shaved his eyebrows off and i felt bad so i made him some and it just kept going.

Well if it isn't Mr. Fartbagt!

There have been a lot of stories that I have herd why me and my ex broke up. I guess its just what happens when peoples minds wonder. Its has always been funny to me to hear about how i cheated or she cheated or someone got pregnate when none of that is true. But the last thing I herd was baffling to me on how in the hell it could be true. Let me get this clear before i go any further i have never or will never (pending hard evedence) belive anything that is told to be. So with that out of the way i was told that we split up because I was leading a double life. When hearing this I quickly broke into laughter then craped my pants. After doing this I got to thinking what if i had a double life what would i be? Maybe I was a secret agent flying around to diffrent countries killing people. Or maybe my other life i was a drug lord and i just used every thing i did during the day as a front. Ah what about a stripper i know plenty of women folk who would like to put dollars in my undies. Could i have a whole nother family i dunno. What if i was a prince of a forgein country yea that sounds good. lol sadly i am not any of these im just a ruglar guy, but its still funny how peoples minds wonder. I just sit back relax and let the dumb people do dumb stuff for me, so i have something to write about. Well either that or i go out with my friends and I do something creative. lol

Seth and The Nard Dog do a Mad Lib! (adult content)

Ok here it goes i wanted to do something funny and well i got board at work during a break of course and me and theNard Dog did a mad lib. It was a napoleon dynamite amd lib at that. If you would like to particeipate in a mad lib email me and let me know at sethcarterhasanemail@gmail.com or write and tell me how awesome i really am.

Just Like Napoleon and Pedro, my best freind Tim and I go together like meat and potatoes. We suck together at school; we ride weiners around town, and help eacch other with our chair work. Not only that, but Tim also offers protection. For example , I was recently riding my bike over some very rough wankers near a majestic ravine. I hit one particularly bad beast and went flying in the rowboat, Tim jumped off his octagon and caught me before I could fall off the pisspoor cliff. No one had ever risked thier hairtie to save me like that before. I guess that's what good generators are for. You stick your penis out for each other no matter what the switches are!

yep thats how much fun this can get. lol

It was kinda like poking myself in the eye!

I have been on bad dates then there was the most amazing time i had the other night and this is how it broke down.

We were suppose to eat at 7 but it all kinda broke down she was going to be there later and we didn't eat until 745 good start.

we get there about 8 fifteen minutes after our new time and a hour from our original.

normally I'm a great conversationalist lol but i guess i went completely retarded because i would talk and i would get nothing so knowing the person i am ill only be able to do this for another hour and I'm going to give up.

so we get done eating and i manage to salvage some of the dinner, yes I'm that good, good enough to earn a peck kiss awe shucks. after dinner we head to one of my favorite bars good ol three crow bar woohoo at least i will be comfortable.

so i get there oh and i did forget to mention I'm going to meet couple of her friend um like 8 with out knowing a fucking person this should be fucking awesome if you cant tell my level of pissed ness has risen.

we get there and go to the bar and instead of sitting next to me she sits next to her gay (this is what girls call their gay male friend) instead of me, making talking the easiest this in the world now especially in a bar setting. I'm back on the clock the hour is counting down.

after spending fifteen minutes of throwing napkin balls in to a trash can i get introduced to her friends she introduces me as her date and in a joking manner i say i wouldn't go that far, we all laugh witch is surprising, but it worked, ah now back to working on my jump shot

the bartender asked me to stop making a mess, so i do, but now i need to find something else to do, oh wow she came over and said hi and gave a mercy hug, how lucky am i right now, about thirty min left and I'm gone

wow more friends show up this is getting better oh ouch she totally forgot to introduce me ouch ouch ouch guess those are two more people i will never have the pleasure of knowing damn that sucks bla lol

so for the last fifteen minutes i entertain myself with giving everyone else dialog in my head if they aren't going to talk to me i might as well make them talk so much fun

well times up i tell her I'm heading out and she doesn't even get up to tell me bye dang that hurts real bad not really it makes for a faster escape hahaha freedom now off to home so i cant sleep off this horrible night

Dates are baaaaaaaaaaaaaad and then they are really bad take my advice don't get upset or mad just make the most of it sure when all said and done you may feel like it was a big waste of time but in the end you end up looking like the better person for reals. haha

AWWWWW Snap!

So at work today i had to get a lot of stuff done like pay a phone bill, buy my books, and get a present for someone. And yes it had to be done right then and there. So i went in early so i could get it done off the clock and not get in trouble. Because i knew i wouldnt have time to get all this done after work plus i needed to pay my bill asap and want my books to ship out that day and if i tryed to do this befor work i would of been late. witch now that I look back i should of just come in late. So i walk in get on go to the place i need to pay my bill and the lady that works behind me walks up and just starts staring at the screen nothing eles just staring at the screen. I say politly "Do you need something", "no" she say. Then why the hell are you lookingg at my info you crazy lady. so i turn the monitor off and explain to her the deal and she says ok. So I turn around again and get started and shure enough she does the same thing. So i cut to the chase and tell her to go away, and she does, but instead of leaving me alone she starts asking me the dumbest questiong like what the weather is going to be like and how tall is sanata clause and how much is the doggy in the window and stuff about tyler perry so i turn around and explain once again that i need to get this done and stop talking to me and I will be more than pleased to answer any and all of lifes questions when i get done. She gets mad and storms off. Thank goodness she is gone, back to work. 5 min. into it and i mean just 5 min, into it and someone else walk up to me, and im not to happy about this guy showing up. He is one of those guys who doesnt know when to leave and when your trying to be nice he doesnt get the picture. So i tell him as soon as he walks up to me I am very bust go away. This is what he says word for word, "Oh yea man i totaly understand your trying to do something like REALLy important and someone wont stop talking to you like when my wife is at home and im trying to watch something on t.v. and she is all like bla bla bla and im all like babe im trying to watch this and she is al like bla bla bla and im all like babe im watchin something on tv and she is still like bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla and im get up and yell at here DAMNIT BABE IM TRYING TO WATCH THIS ON THE NFL NETWORK AND YOU GETTING ON MY FUCKING NERVES BABE then she get the fucking piture and then i can watch what im watching and when im done im all like ok babe what did you want and it usually something stupid so i know exactly how it is mantrust me i know" all i can do or say is "shut the fuck up and go away before i hit you in your tiny head" that might get anyone to leave but not this guy he says "whoa totaly get the picture dude you must really have something important your trying to do so yea i can totaly understand why you need to pay attention so you dont like mess anything up you know what i mean" i throw a box at him and he scampers off in fear. now i can get down to business because its business time (thank you Flight of the conchords) so i get my books paid for and im almost done with the rest until someone eles comes walking up and he says he man what ya doin? i tell him i was trying to get something done and he says really what and walksup and starts looking on the screen and trying to be nosey then i turn the monitor off and hit him with a box and told him to fuck off and he tryed to explain he was just trying to help and i screamed at him no words just screaming because he was making my head hurt so bad i had to scream at him. he also scampered off and then i finaly got everything done just in time to clock i on time for work. thank goodness i have a job.

awwwww Mom said bullshit

There was a period in my life where i was extremely accident prone. It was a ruff time, but we got threw it. So with that said here is a story about a trip to the ER!

It was December and i had been 14 for two months now. I hurt my ankle earlier in the week during some exercises in gym class at the good ol Neely's Bend Middle School. My dad had taken me to the doctor before but know he was getting kind of irritated about the whole situation. So we went to the ER at the TCMC. We get there and get checked in, the doctor there sees me, tells me what me and my dad thought i have a broke ankle and we get an appointment to go get a cast. Here is where the story starts to get a little cooky. We get done and me and my dad are walking out and he says wait here I'm going to go get the truck. Well I could of made this easy by just waiting there and getting in the truck and going home that could be were the story ended but no it couldn't be that simple. My dad walks off and I'm standing there and I see the coke machines and I think to myself hmmm i wonder if there is any lose change in those coke machines so i can buy me a coke. Bad move on my part. I go in there ( I'm on crutches at this point) I check the first one and the last thing i remember is waking up and asking my mom what did the put in and what did they take out. The reason is because a month earlier i had my appendix taken out (crazy i know). What I was told that happen was I passed out falling backward and put my head threw the wall. Craziness i know. My mom says i kept waking up and asking her the same questions over and over then i would pass out. The questions were What did the take out and what did they put in and what did you get me for Christmas. I know i must not of been that bed but my mom was freaking out because the nurse told he that To make sure i wasn't repeating my self , because if i was it probably meant i had a serious concussion. ( i didn't have one). Everything was OK and i was ready to go home but this time the wheeled me out in a wheelchair so i couldn't pass out on the floor again. Oh yea i forgot i had the flu while all this was going on.

24 Hoours with Seth!

In this blog you will be reading what I do in a 24 hour period, what a normal day in my life is, and what music I listen to while I'm doing what I'm doing. I don't write down everything and I set my Zune to random, so that is how i chose the music i listen to. If this goes over well then I will try and do this more often.



July 7, 2009



4:30 am Woke up to go on my walk/jog.



4:32 am When back to sleep



5:30 am Wake up to start my day hop on the scale , cool i almost lost all my 4th weight i gained. Then droped a duece. hoped on the scale now i lost all the 4th weight. Now i gots to get my coffe.



5:45 am hop on facebook not much going on. reply to Michale H. post. watch a video my brother in law posted (funny funny funny) Whatching jordan sparks video Battlefield



6:30 am should be getting ready for work but going to play farkle instead woohoo



6:54 am got ready fr work going out the door tell my mother bye and luv you, yes thats right 26 and living at home, just living the dream every day



7:15 am getting to work listen to drake - best i ever had the whole way. Luv it.



7:20 am clock in



7:20:30 am thinking of a way to go home early, deside to stay.



7:50 am nard dog shows up for work we chit chat, he tells me stuff like how his wife ripped a nasty fart the we joke about the river boat bandits



8:18 am Deep disscusion on the the tree amigos movie



8:20 am zune goes on, first song Ben Harper - faded woohoo



8:25 am Nard Dog & I talk about reciving and their awesome work eithic

( Back Kids - not going to teach your boyfriend how to dance)



8:28 am Nard dog & I discuss group nick names we are so Gnarles barkley or the Lone Rangers, COFFE BREAK!

(Delta Spirit - the step and the walk)



8:34 am RIVERBOAT BANDITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Jake One - God Like)



8:34 am Our Local Dummy leaves early woohoo

(Firemen - Sign the Change)



8:50 am fart on little old lady

( Jack Johnson - Sleep Threw the static)



9:00 am Break Dance Fighting with the Nard Dog

( Kelly Stoltz - Wave Goodbye)



9:13 am Thinking about what i did last night not to happy, fart on little old lady feel a little better, hurry up 10 o'clock

( J mascist and Friends - Please remember I'm here)



9:30 am Me & The Nard Dog disscus the inner workings of our job =)

(Oh No - Action)



9:44 am Cell Phone Bill Paid

(Death Cab For Cutie - I will posses your heart)



10:00 am Break Time fuck yea bro, The Nard dog rags on me about my blog and about my snack choice and the he crack off color MJ joke. Johnny Boy does his lunges by the break area. JV shows up we disscuss poop and putting eggs on our salad yummy! Nard dog v/s banna , Nard Dog wins.



10:24 am break over someone shoots me Nard Dog makes fun of the riverboat bandits and our local dummy again and i do too.

(Louie Armstrong - What a wonderful world)



10:40 am Dance to Beyonce's crazy on love



10:42 am Booger sighting

(Massive attach - Angel)



10:58 am Nard Dog and Jonny Boy try and get me to skip afternoon workout, no way! I lied, I lied it was me trying to get them to go.

(Ray Lamontange - hanna)



11:15 am Hahahah We are going to Elchico to eat woohoo

( Burdon Brothers - If your going to heaven)



11:30 am Arguing With Cuz K about cats, hate them.

( Flogging Molly - The light of a fading star)



11:38 am Giggles Mcgee Sighting

(Flogging Molly - Float)



12:00 pm LUNCH TIME OH YEA , lunch was cool, got our regular waitress johnny boy made her mad over some sour cream, we vented about work and now back to work we go boo who? good time

(Drop Kick Murphys - The rocky road to dublin)



1:30 pm Nard Dog get into a shit talking contest, funny funny, the quick talk about life, deat, and video games, just the norm in the warehouse.

( Kelly Stoltz - Everything Begins)



1:50 pm Just Found out Kareeoke on second break

( Flogging Molly - The Likes of You)



1:55 pm Scratch that we are hackin

(Silversun Pickups - Three Seed)



1:56 pm Droped a Duece

( Dropkick Murphys - Hey Little rich Boy)



2:05 pm Nard Dog rags on my bloging again

(Ben Folds Five - Army)



2:18 pm Johnny boy being sassy

(Fjiya & Miyagi - Cassett single)



2:38 pm Light say i look tired, i am and its showing really bad

(Ben Folds Five - Jackson Canery)



3:00 pm Hacking was ok



3:36 pm Made a new word hobully (hopefully) Nard Dog Made suere i Knew about it

( Pearl Jam - Last Exit)



3:39 pm Farted on little old lady

(Noah and the whale - Rocks and Daggers)



3:46 pm light talking about beating people up again, oh no

( Wilco - Monday)



3:54 pm Lesson about elvis from vinney B

(New Found Glory - Sincerly Me)



4:09 pm Big Curtis shows up day almost over, farted on little old lady

(Death Cab for Cutie - Twin Sized Bed)



4:23 pm Last few minutes of work and it glorious

(cypresshill - aint going out like that)



4:30 pm Off work on my way home, yayaya

(David Banhart I just feel like a child)

(Rancid - I aint worried)

(Jim Jones - This is the life)



4:45 pm I think i made cuz K mad, I did call her horse face

( Dropkick Murphys - Captain Kellys Kitchen)



4:55 pm Cuz K is cool now she made fun of my toe, Note to slef dont mention horse head around cuz k

(Killswitch Engadge - Holy Diver)



5:05 pm DM just reminded me about a funny story i need to blog about, yayayay her

(El Michels Affair - Behind the Blue Curtins)



5:12 pm JPVS is picking on me now im sad and crying, she is funny. My mom bout me a shirt. I feel even better now, awesome.

(Matt Costa - Songs We Sing)



5:24 pm Gone to shower then off to Academy sports fun balls

( Old Crow Medicine Show - Let it Alone)



6:30 pm Bout some ankle weights and a workout ball, yea thats right a workout ball.

(Daughtry - Over You)



6:45 pm Some kid are selling water by the side of the road. Wanna know how i found out? One of the kids ran up banged on my window and yelled at me "HEY MISTA YOU WANT TO BUY SOME WATER" My response was a very loud masculine scream.

( Drake - Best I Ever Had)



7:00 pm watching Ultimate 100 fights with pops and talking a little fighting too.



8:19 pm Thinking about starting to work on my blog its going to take a while to finish, I think i have had better ideas. My mom brings my icream i am a complet loser, but i have ice cream so ha!



9:05 pm Instead of starting on this blog I write about the time I was chased by a fox, yup thats right i was chased by a fox and it wasnt that fun.



9:30 pm Playing Farkle can not belive that LA beat my score.



9:45 starting to think that this blog is going to take for ever to spell check, because i can not spell at all, this is now a horrible idea.



10:00 pm gone to bed good night world.





4:30 am wake up to go walk/jog and you know how the rest goes



There you go 24 hours of my life in a blog, wow im boring. Thanks for reading let me know what you think?

yea big deal i pooped my pants.

I have be working out now for almost a year and have lost over 70 pound from when i started. I do mostly cardio, then more cardio, and then more cardio. So what would I do, I would wake up at 4 or 5 in he morning and walk for hours until i had to leave for work. I'm very proud of myself for this. Well that said there was one morning that it seemed that anything that could happen it would and here it goes.

It was around 4:30 and kind cold, I had my usual walking cloths on a hoodie jogging pants stocking hat and my shoes. So i was either walking or robbing some one. I started off moving pretty good you know feeling good glad to be out getting fresh air then when I come around the corner and take a few steps and i trip and fall on the road. i mean i fell hard and I was flipping out because i really had no idea why I fell. So i get up and dust myself off and keep going. Now any one who knows me well, knows i have horrible sinuses i mean they suck. So the pollen count was up and my sinuses have been bothering me all week, and I'm still walking. I get a couple block away from where i feel at i start feeling sick to my stomach. Well needless to say i think you know whats about to happen. Forget it I'm going to tell you any way. I threw up and I'm not talking a little it was quite a bit. But it wasn't food or the water i had been drinking it was a giant loogie. Ew i know but that's what happen. But i felt sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much better after that happen. So I'm coming back around for my second lap. I pass where I fell, then I pass the giant loogie yes it still there. Then i get to this one part where there is a little creek type area, and i got my head phones on I think i was listening to Cool Kids - Gold and a Pager (GREAT SONG) when all of a sudden a fox pops out of the bushes. I kinda stop where I was standing. The fox start coming tword me so i move a little fast away from it, but then it starts moving faster, then i start jogging, it starts jogging. At this point I'm rattled and start running full sprint and the fox just stops and goes back. Now at this point i was probably around 330 - 320, I am dead tired so i decide to head back nut away from the fox. I get started back and I'm about two or three blocks away and yes sure enough i throw up another giant loogie. I finally get home and take a shower and after my shower i just sit and think about what the hell just happen to me. So after all of that I decided not to walk in my neighborhood anymore. I walk other places without foxes lol.

IF YOU READ THIS BLOG!

IF YOU READ THIS BLOG PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT AND NOT ON THIS PARTICULAR BLOG BUT ON ALL MY BLOGS. THIS WAY I KNOW IF SOMETHING IS FUNNY OR NOT AND I CAN KIND OF KEEP UP WITH HOW MANY PEOPLE READ MY BLOG OTHER THAN THAT HAVE A GREAT DAY!

Because Bill is my friend!

When i was young my mom asked me what i wanted to be when i grew up and I told her i wanted to be an army man, she said "well go to school great and education and you can be an army man". The I said "no i don't wanna be that i want to be a police man", she said "well go to school get a good education and you can be a police man". Then i said "no I want to be a fireman, she said "well got to school and get a good education and you can be a fireman". Then I said "no I wanna be a garbage man when i grown up", she said "well go to school get a good education and you can be a garbage man". Then i said "Mom i wanna be stupid". I would like to let everyone know that I'm just living the dream!

but i dont wanna.

Something really funny happen to me valentines night. I went out with some friend nothing romantic just something to do since we were all single and nothing was going on. We went to our usual place Three Crow Bar nothing face but a fun place to go to hang out. I recommend it if your ever in the East Nashville area. So we are there having fun cracking jokes nothing to crazy just the norm. When all of a sudden the waitress come up to me and hands me a drink and say here this woman bout this for you. Well i was amazed at first but shit ill take a free drink plus I don't think any one would put the date rape drug in my drink, well you never know. So i looked at the lady and nodded thank you. She kinda had this look of concern and started walking towards me and when she got next to me she said " um I'm sorry but that drink was meant for the guy over there" the only thing I could say was " wow that's too bad he seems nice", asshole move maybe, but the lesson learned is grow a pair and go talk to someone do just send them a drink because some jackass could get it by accident and drink it.

Spell check blog!

So i get made fun of a lot, mostly by my sister when i write stuff online, about not being able to spell. So i got to thinking its apart of me that is really funny. So i decided to write a blog with out using spell check. A lot of you might be amazed that in past blogs you might say you found a missed spelled word. Well smarty pants you didn't you just found a word spelled correctly just not used in the right way, so poo on you. I have never ever been able to spell so good, and i mean ever. To this day i still ask people how to spell certain words. Even the easy words like holiday or fart maybe even holiday. The point of this is i never really scared to write even though i was tormented by everyone for this horrible thing i have. I always write how i want to spell check or no spell check. You might wonder who i blame for this, well not my parents and not my family. Mostly i blame the metro school system for their failure to make me a better citizen. So the next time you read this blog and you are amazed by all the grammar errors, don't be because I've been doing this for years and your just now catching on, and i just don't really care because its just another thing that can make people laugh. Have a great day!

We dont need no stinking badges.

I know the tittle is double negative, shut up.

Im 26 and as i reflect at the jobs i have had I cant help but think, damn i have had a lot of diffrent job doing a lot of diffrent things. My first job was at Sport Seasons in rivergat mall. Man did that job suck butt. I got paid like a nickle a hour, but the store discount was awsome. I had a manager there named lance he was an angry nome. he still works there you should stop by and gowk at him, he is the short bald guy. Then there was the stint at the Levi store, where i work with the to biggest tools ever. But they wernt the same type of tool they were very two diffrent tools. One was, or at least thought he was a cowboy, so i would always asking cowboy questions. Like what kind of gun is best for robbing trains or when your at a bar and you want a beer and someone spits on your boot are you suppose to slap his mother or marry his sister. Just any kind of stupid question with maybe two words having to do with cowboys. The olther thought he was God's Gift to the world to everyone. So to mess with him i would always bow when he entered the room now matter what i was doing or what i had in my hands. It would piss him off especially if i had his lunch in my hands. I would also anounce his entrance to the store over the entercome, i got introuble big time. So i always did it.