Try and stop me.......

This is a conversion I had with a girl when I had first bout my house,I had lawn furniture to sit in my tv stand and I was sleeping in the bonus room. We had just got done eating out and came back to watch a movie when she said.......
Girl: what's that?
Me: oh, that's my owl
Girl: what's it for?
Me: to scare the haters, you know
         Keep them out
Girl: that thingis weirdand creepy
         And it keeps staring at me
Me: why?
Girl: I don't know!
Me: are you a hater?
Girl : no what would make you think
            That?
Me: you were talking pretty bad
        About my owl you must be a
         Hater . Now you have to leave
Girl: shut up
After this I start the movie and put the owl beside me and I told her it was to protect ne from he haterisms

How to date a secret agent!

There is no intro good enough for what I'm about to tell you seriously get your popcorn and a soda and read with child like wonderment because this is some weird stuff people. Oh the things i get myself into, i know god has a sense of humor he made me and the platypus.

I am very single and enjoy dating very much. It adds so much to my crazy life,lol. There was one girl that i went out with one time and only one time. Lets see how do i begin, We begin talking and getting to know each other on the phone we share stuff like what we do for a living, like i work in the shipping department of a dental supply company, and she tells me she is a federal agent. This catches me off guard a little bit because i have never really talked to anyone who had ever worked in law enforcement so i run with it. No biggie at all. But, we talk a little more and the story keeps getting stranger and stranger, so now im in a spot where Im forced to grill her about stuff and ask her questions that were more like traps to see if she was really telling the truth, now the has become a prosses and not dating.