I was never picked last in kickball.

I have always thought stereo types were funny and I don't tend to abide by any maybe some that don't fit who i am but they are silly. Whats even funner is when something happens to you that is so stereo typical that I don't wanna think its real. Like the time i was arrested at a Lynard Skynard concert for drinking.

It was the summer I was going into my Junior year of high school and we had tickets to see , don't judge me, Travis Tritt and Lynard Skynard. I figured I should go because I was a white boy in the south and its our birth right to see them at least once i don't know why but then again i don't make the rules. Its an awesome day the sun is shining bright, and one of the guys we are with found a 21 bracelet, its the thing you get I.D.ed for so you can drink. They ask me if i wanted a beer and you know what I didn't, yes i actually passed on a beer. They come back and travis tritt is squaking bout some bs and we are just hanging out having fun, when one of my friends has to go to the bathroom and asks me to hold his beer. I don't think anything of it, so when he comes back and security is with him because the stopped to get a couple more and the security decided to do there jobs and ask questions I'm now holding a beer that im not drinking in front of the man. now we are marched to the back to the police substation, with the theme music of travis tritt, how fitting. We get to the back and we get a chance to call our parents to pick us up, sure enough i cant get ahold of mine so now they are taking about if i don't get ahold of anyone then I'm going to jail, great i would say something smart but its not security guards any more its the police and I'm like 15 so im scared.
I finally get someone and i cant believe that i got this person but they bailed my ass out big time. I had my grandmother come get me. Well she can't drive at night so she had my uncle drive her and they came and got me. This was punishment enough i thought being walked out by your grandmother. To top things off when we are driving home my uncle gets pulled over because the officer saw us leave the concert and thought he might of been drinking. When I got home I got it from my mom really bad, but what you have to understand is my mother is the master of evil punishments it all worked out I was alive.

It was kinda like poking myself in the eye!

I have been on bad dates then there was the most amazing time i had the other night and this is how it broke down.

We were suppose to eat at 7 but it all kinda broke down she was going to be there later and we didn't eat until 745 good start.

we get there about 8 fifteen minutes after our new time and a hour from our original.

normally I'm a great conversationalist lol but i guess i went completely retarded because i would talk and i would get nothing so knowing the person i am ill only be able to do this for another hour and I'm going to give up.

so we get done eating and i manage to salvage some of the dinner, yes I'm that good, good enough to earn a peck kiss awe shucks. after dinner we head to one of my favorite bars good ol three crow bar woohoo at least i will be comfortable.

so i get there oh and i did forget to mention I'm going to meet couple of her friend um like 8 with out knowing a fucking person this should be fucking awesome if you cant tell my level of pissed ness has risen.

we get there and go to the bar and instead of sitting next to me she sits next to her gay (this is what girls call their gay male friend) instead of me, making talking the easiest this in the world now especially in a bar setting. I'm back on the clock the hour is counting down.

after spending fifteen minutes of throwing napkin balls in to a trash can i get introduced to her friends she introduces me as her date and in a joking manner i say i wouldn't go that far, we all laugh witch is surprising, but it worked, ah now back to working on my jump shot

the bartender asked me to stop making a mess, so i do, but now i need to find something else to do, oh wow she came over and said hi and gave a mercy hug, how lucky am i right now, about thirty min left and I'm gone

wow more friends show up this is getting better oh ouch she totally forgot to introduce me ouch ouch ouch guess those are two more people i will never have the pleasure of knowing damn that sucks bla lol

so for the last fifteen minutes i entertain myself with giving everyone else dialog in my head if they aren't going to talk to me i might as well make them talk so much fun

well times up i tell her I'm heading out and she doesn't even get up to tell me bye dang that hurts real bad not really it makes for a faster escape hahaha freedom now off to home so i cant sleep off this horrible night

Dates are baaaaaaaaaaaaaad and then they are really bad take my advice don't get upset or mad just make the most of it sure when all said and done you may feel like it was a big waste of time but in the end you end up looking like the better person for reals. haha

AWWWWW Snap!

So at work today i had to get a lot of stuff done like pay a phone bill, buy my books, and get a present for someone. And yes it had to be done right then and there. So i went in early so i could get it done off the clock and not get in trouble. Because i knew i wouldnt have time to get all this done after work plus i needed to pay my bill asap and want my books to ship out that day and if i tryed to do this befor work i would of been late. witch now that I look back i should of just come in late. So i walk in get on go to the place i need to pay my bill and the lady that works behind me walks up and just starts staring at the screen nothing eles just staring at the screen. I say politly "Do you need something", "no" she say. Then why the hell are you lookingg at my info you crazy lady. so i turn the monitor off and explain to her the deal and she says ok. So I turn around again and get started and shure enough she does the same thing. So i cut to the chase and tell her to go away, and she does, but instead of leaving me alone she starts asking me the dumbest questiong like what the weather is going to be like and how tall is sanata clause and how much is the doggy in the window and stuff about tyler perry so i turn around and explain once again that i need to get this done and stop talking to me and I will be more than pleased to answer any and all of lifes questions when i get done. She gets mad and storms off. Thank goodness she is gone, back to work. 5 min. into it and i mean just 5 min, into it and someone else walk up to me, and im not to happy about this guy showing up. He is one of those guys who doesnt know when to leave and when your trying to be nice he doesnt get the picture. So i tell him as soon as he walks up to me I am very bust go away. This is what he says word for word, "Oh yea man i totaly understand your trying to do something like REALLy important and someone wont stop talking to you like when my wife is at home and im trying to watch something on t.v. and she is all like bla bla bla and im all like babe im trying to watch this and she is al like bla bla bla and im all like babe im watchin something on tv and she is still like bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla and im get up and yell at here DAMNIT BABE IM TRYING TO WATCH THIS ON THE NFL NETWORK AND YOU GETTING ON MY FUCKING NERVES BABE then she get the fucking piture and then i can watch what im watching and when im done im all like ok babe what did you want and it usually something stupid so i know exactly how it is mantrust me i know" all i can do or say is "shut the fuck up and go away before i hit you in your tiny head" that might get anyone to leave but not this guy he says "whoa totaly get the picture dude you must really have something important your trying to do so yea i can totaly understand why you need to pay attention so you dont like mess anything up you know what i mean" i throw a box at him and he scampers off in fear. now i can get down to business because its business time (thank you Flight of the conchords) so i get my books paid for and im almost done with the rest until someone eles comes walking up and he says he man what ya doin? i tell him i was trying to get something done and he says really what and walksup and starts looking on the screen and trying to be nosey then i turn the monitor off and hit him with a box and told him to fuck off and he tryed to explain he was just trying to help and i screamed at him no words just screaming because he was making my head hurt so bad i had to scream at him. he also scampered off and then i finaly got everything done just in time to clock i on time for work. thank goodness i have a job.

Sometime i like to pee in the dark.

things i have done that really don't have a story but are funny.

1. Cried at the end of harry and the Henderson's movie

2. Threw up in the movie theater while watching turner and hooch\

3. Cried at batteries not included movie

4. Threw up at the theater at K-9

5. Once poured Ajax on my swimming trunks and went streaking to the pool and jumped in naked.

6. Ruined my sisters 13Th or 14Th birthday party by walking around with my shirt off and flexing for the ladies.

7. Blew my sister birthday candles out with my nose

8. Used my sisters left over icing from her cake to make a beard.

9. got my hand stuck in the VCR for about a hour while i was home alone, i was like 11.

10. I was kicked in the nut by a kid tackling the tackle dummy during practice.

11. Went on a walk and saw two deer getting it on.

12.

(I WILL KEEP ADDING TO THIS AS I REMEMBER SO CHECK BACK FOR MORE FUNNY OR IF YOU HAVE ONE FEEL FREE TO ADD BUT ITS SOMETHING I DID THAT DOESN'T REALLY HAVE A STORY, IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING I JUST DID)

24 Hoours with Seth!

In this blog you will be reading what I do in a 24 hour period, what a normal day in my life is, and what music I listen to while I'm doing what I'm doing. I don't write down everything and I set my Zune to random, so that is how i chose the music i listen to. If this goes over well then I will try and do this more often.



July 7, 2009



4:30 am Woke up to go on my walk/jog.



4:32 am When back to sleep



5:30 am Wake up to start my day hop on the scale , cool i almost lost all my 4th weight i gained. Then droped a duece. hoped on the scale now i lost all the 4th weight. Now i gots to get my coffe.



5:45 am hop on facebook not much going on. reply to Michale H. post. watch a video my brother in law posted (funny funny funny) Whatching jordan sparks video Battlefield



6:30 am should be getting ready for work but going to play farkle instead woohoo



6:54 am got ready fr work going out the door tell my mother bye and luv you, yes thats right 26 and living at home, just living the dream every day



7:15 am getting to work listen to drake - best i ever had the whole way. Luv it.



7:20 am clock in



7:20:30 am thinking of a way to go home early, deside to stay.



7:50 am nard dog shows up for work we chit chat, he tells me stuff like how his wife ripped a nasty fart the we joke about the river boat bandits



8:18 am Deep disscusion on the the tree amigos movie



8:20 am zune goes on, first song Ben Harper - faded woohoo



8:25 am Nard Dog & I talk about reciving and their awesome work eithic

( Back Kids - not going to teach your boyfriend how to dance)



8:28 am Nard dog & I discuss group nick names we are so Gnarles barkley or the Lone Rangers, COFFE BREAK!

(Delta Spirit - the step and the walk)



8:34 am RIVERBOAT BANDITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Jake One - God Like)



8:34 am Our Local Dummy leaves early woohoo

(Firemen - Sign the Change)



8:50 am fart on little old lady

( Jack Johnson - Sleep Threw the static)



9:00 am Break Dance Fighting with the Nard Dog

( Kelly Stoltz - Wave Goodbye)



9:13 am Thinking about what i did last night not to happy, fart on little old lady feel a little better, hurry up 10 o'clock

( J mascist and Friends - Please remember I'm here)



9:30 am Me & The Nard Dog disscus the inner workings of our job =)

(Oh No - Action)



9:44 am Cell Phone Bill Paid

(Death Cab For Cutie - I will posses your heart)



10:00 am Break Time fuck yea bro, The Nard dog rags on me about my blog and about my snack choice and the he crack off color MJ joke. Johnny Boy does his lunges by the break area. JV shows up we disscuss poop and putting eggs on our salad yummy! Nard dog v/s banna , Nard Dog wins.



10:24 am break over someone shoots me Nard Dog makes fun of the riverboat bandits and our local dummy again and i do too.

(Louie Armstrong - What a wonderful world)



10:40 am Dance to Beyonce's crazy on love



10:42 am Booger sighting

(Massive attach - Angel)



10:58 am Nard Dog and Jonny Boy try and get me to skip afternoon workout, no way! I lied, I lied it was me trying to get them to go.

(Ray Lamontange - hanna)



11:15 am Hahahah We are going to Elchico to eat woohoo

( Burdon Brothers - If your going to heaven)



11:30 am Arguing With Cuz K about cats, hate them.

( Flogging Molly - The light of a fading star)



11:38 am Giggles Mcgee Sighting

(Flogging Molly - Float)



12:00 pm LUNCH TIME OH YEA , lunch was cool, got our regular waitress johnny boy made her mad over some sour cream, we vented about work and now back to work we go boo who? good time

(Drop Kick Murphys - The rocky road to dublin)



1:30 pm Nard Dog get into a shit talking contest, funny funny, the quick talk about life, deat, and video games, just the norm in the warehouse.

( Kelly Stoltz - Everything Begins)



1:50 pm Just Found out Kareeoke on second break

( Flogging Molly - The Likes of You)



1:55 pm Scratch that we are hackin

(Silversun Pickups - Three Seed)



1:56 pm Droped a Duece

( Dropkick Murphys - Hey Little rich Boy)



2:05 pm Nard Dog rags on my bloging again

(Ben Folds Five - Army)



2:18 pm Johnny boy being sassy

(Fjiya & Miyagi - Cassett single)



2:38 pm Light say i look tired, i am and its showing really bad

(Ben Folds Five - Jackson Canery)



3:00 pm Hacking was ok



3:36 pm Made a new word hobully (hopefully) Nard Dog Made suere i Knew about it

( Pearl Jam - Last Exit)



3:39 pm Farted on little old lady

(Noah and the whale - Rocks and Daggers)



3:46 pm light talking about beating people up again, oh no

( Wilco - Monday)



3:54 pm Lesson about elvis from vinney B

(New Found Glory - Sincerly Me)



4:09 pm Big Curtis shows up day almost over, farted on little old lady

(Death Cab for Cutie - Twin Sized Bed)



4:23 pm Last few minutes of work and it glorious

(cypresshill - aint going out like that)



4:30 pm Off work on my way home, yayaya

(David Banhart I just feel like a child)

(Rancid - I aint worried)

(Jim Jones - This is the life)



4:45 pm I think i made cuz K mad, I did call her horse face

( Dropkick Murphys - Captain Kellys Kitchen)



4:55 pm Cuz K is cool now she made fun of my toe, Note to slef dont mention horse head around cuz k

(Killswitch Engadge - Holy Diver)



5:05 pm DM just reminded me about a funny story i need to blog about, yayayay her

(El Michels Affair - Behind the Blue Curtins)



5:12 pm JPVS is picking on me now im sad and crying, she is funny. My mom bout me a shirt. I feel even better now, awesome.

(Matt Costa - Songs We Sing)



5:24 pm Gone to shower then off to Academy sports fun balls

( Old Crow Medicine Show - Let it Alone)



6:30 pm Bout some ankle weights and a workout ball, yea thats right a workout ball.

(Daughtry - Over You)



6:45 pm Some kid are selling water by the side of the road. Wanna know how i found out? One of the kids ran up banged on my window and yelled at me "HEY MISTA YOU WANT TO BUY SOME WATER" My response was a very loud masculine scream.

( Drake - Best I Ever Had)



7:00 pm watching Ultimate 100 fights with pops and talking a little fighting too.



8:19 pm Thinking about starting to work on my blog its going to take a while to finish, I think i have had better ideas. My mom brings my icream i am a complet loser, but i have ice cream so ha!



9:05 pm Instead of starting on this blog I write about the time I was chased by a fox, yup thats right i was chased by a fox and it wasnt that fun.



9:30 pm Playing Farkle can not belive that LA beat my score.



9:45 starting to think that this blog is going to take for ever to spell check, because i can not spell at all, this is now a horrible idea.



10:00 pm gone to bed good night world.





4:30 am wake up to go walk/jog and you know how the rest goes



There you go 24 hours of my life in a blog, wow im boring. Thanks for reading let me know what you think?

So your telling me there's a chance.

When i was younger i loved playing baseball, it was the most important thing to me at the time. My last year had some major highlights that will stick with me forever and here is just one memory that I would like to share with you.





I played third base for Madison little league on the met's, and allow me to brag on myself a little I wasn't to shabby more defence than offence. I loved it was the most fun ever. Well one night game it was the third inning or so and it was going by slooooooooooooooooooow. Batter comes up runner on second the pitch strike runner tries and steals third, catcher get out of position throws the ball to third, I get into position to make the play, we got him beat I'm going to make the tag and it going to be awesome. I go to make the catch and then, why i have no idea maybe god needed a laugh or something Else but the light go out and the ball hit me in the nose. It was no good at all. the lights are out I'm on the ground with blood coming out of my nose and everyone is kinda freaking out, not to bad but its still funny. Lights come on I'm still on the ground getting back up blood coming out of my nose, it was a glorious time for me, i finished the game, i was probably suppose to switch jerseys but they didn't have one big enough for me. hahhaha

IF YOU READ THIS BLOG!

IF YOU READ THIS BLOG PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT AND NOT ON THIS PARTICULAR BLOG BUT ON ALL MY BLOGS. THIS WAY I KNOW IF SOMETHING IS FUNNY OR NOT AND I CAN KIND OF KEEP UP WITH HOW MANY PEOPLE READ MY BLOG OTHER THAN THAT HAVE A GREAT DAY!

red bull and powerboats

There have been many many weird things that have happen to me. I seem to attract strange happenings. But the weirdest thing i have ever seen in my life was a guy wearing a halo neck thingy and he was driving a four wheeler. Many thing ran threw my head at the time when i saw it, but what really made me laugh was when he turned around the see the cars behind him that was just the funnest thing ever. He had to turn his whole body around to see what was behind him, and do you think he stopped, Ummmmmmmmm no he kept on moving. Wow, it got me thinking how he got hurt in the first place. Was he doing what he was doing right now and hit a bump and fell off because he didn't learn his lesson. Maybe he fell off his horse and felt this was safer. It could of been a wind surfing accident. what ever it was i enjoyed it very much, and would like to thank him for doing something silly like that!

We dont need no stinking badges.

I know the tittle is double negative, shut up.

Im 26 and as i reflect at the jobs i have had I cant help but think, damn i have had a lot of diffrent job doing a lot of diffrent things. My first job was at Sport Seasons in rivergat mall. Man did that job suck butt. I got paid like a nickle a hour, but the store discount was awsome. I had a manager there named lance he was an angry nome. he still works there you should stop by and gowk at him, he is the short bald guy. Then there was the stint at the Levi store, where i work with the to biggest tools ever. But they wernt the same type of tool they were very two diffrent tools. One was, or at least thought he was a cowboy, so i would always asking cowboy questions. Like what kind of gun is best for robbing trains or when your at a bar and you want a beer and someone spits on your boot are you suppose to slap his mother or marry his sister. Just any kind of stupid question with maybe two words having to do with cowboys. The olther thought he was God's Gift to the world to everyone. So to mess with him i would always bow when he entered the room now matter what i was doing or what i had in my hands. It would piss him off especially if i had his lunch in my hands. I would also anounce his entrance to the store over the entercome, i got introuble big time. So i always did it.

But why can't I?

My friend Mike has got to be one of the coolest people in the world he has also got to be the one person i enjoy making laugh more than anything in this world. Why? Well because when he is truly laughing it is a sight to see. But this story isn't about Mike laughing its about Mike almost killing someone and its not sad hell Mike even laughs at it now. Well at least i think he does.

Me, Mike, and well lets just say it was me and Mike were at a party at R.W. house and we were just hanging out having fun. I was being my usually loud and crazy self and Mike was just hanging out. We knew a lot of people the mostly people i hung out with when i was in high school and now we are all in college and just hanging out. Well one of the people i hung out with in H.S. was there and we will just call him J.G. was there and he was starting to get on Mike's nerves and he was getting uneasy. J.G. kept nagging him and nagging and wouldn't stop you could actually see Mike starting to get pissed off and was uneasy. The J.G. said something really dumb to Mike. He said " Me and you man see man me and you are the same we are just alike" witch was a far from the truth as possible. I haven't see a person almost rip the soul out of another many times but Mike almost did. He don't like hearing bullshit to ofter and he hit his limit that night and so they start arguing. They star bickering and the only thing i could hear before it got broke up was Mike saying this " You know why i don't like you, because when you were in elementary school you wore Nike's and when i was in elementary school i wore voit's and I'm still bitter about that shit bitch" greatest quote ever right there every time i hear that it still makes me smile.

King of the appla.

When someone looks you in the eye and says "you know in retrospect my hindsight is 20-20" You look them in the eye and say "flabgabba goob" and stab them in the head with a pencil.Or at least thats what i wanted to do. Why say flabgabba goob because that makes and much since as what they said.

Yes I shot the Dog.

A lot of dumb shit happens to me in my life. So much so its not believable at all. So I have decided to catalog all the dumb, silly, stupid, and down right awesome things that happens to me, my friends, and family in this blog. I will not use real names so my friends and family will be safe from any harassment that may come there way because of this blog. So thank you fro reading and enjoy the car wreck that has become my life.