Good evening. I'm Ron Burgundy and here's what happening in your world tonight

sitting in class when your almost an hour in a half early is no fun, at least not when its just you and a pregnant lady and she farts and tries to play it off like nothing happen, oh but i know and i know she knows i know. Stinky hooker

Seth and The Nard Dog do a Mad Lib! (adult content)

Ok here it goes i wanted to do something funny and well i got board at work during a break of course and me and theNard Dog did a mad lib. It was a napoleon dynamite amd lib at that. If you would like to particeipate in a mad lib email me and let me know at sethcarterhasanemail@gmail.com or write and tell me how awesome i really am.

Just Like Napoleon and Pedro, my best freind Tim and I go together like meat and potatoes. We suck together at school; we ride weiners around town, and help eacch other with our chair work. Not only that, but Tim also offers protection. For example , I was recently riding my bike over some very rough wankers near a majestic ravine. I hit one particularly bad beast and went flying in the rowboat, Tim jumped off his octagon and caught me before I could fall off the pisspoor cliff. No one had ever risked thier hairtie to save me like that before. I guess that's what good generators are for. You stick your penis out for each other no matter what the switches are!

yep thats how much fun this can get. lol

Why yes I am happy to see you and yes that is a bananna in my pocket.

I talked about in earlyer blogs how i used to be a pre-school teacher and i guess another funny story or thing i used to do involved the DHS lady.

Every so often we would have a visit from the DHS lady. She was an older hispanic woman and fairly atractive. Everyone would get nervous when she showed up, not me though I was never worried about here i would just alaways do what i did, whitch wasnt always what i was suppose to do tehe.She would never right me up though, probubly because i would flirt my ass off with here, never anything more lets get this clear because I had a Girlfriend and that shit is a no no with me. So she would ask me questions about the kids and i would answer them with the dumbest questions ever. Here is an example, DHS lady: What time did you wash the childern's hands Mr. Seth , Mr. Seth: Wow DHS Lady you smell amazing, and your shoes wow. , DHS Lady: Oh why thank you Mr. Seth its a new fragrance I'm trying. , Mr Seth: well its devine. DHS Lady: Oh thank you. Then she would leave me alone and our room would be cool. So either she thought I was hot or really really slow.

Either way it save my ass many many many many many of time.

So your telling me there's a chance.

When i was younger i loved playing baseball, it was the most important thing to me at the time. My last year had some major highlights that will stick with me forever and here is just one memory that I would like to share with you.





I played third base for Madison little league on the met's, and allow me to brag on myself a little I wasn't to shabby more defence than offence. I loved it was the most fun ever. Well one night game it was the third inning or so and it was going by slooooooooooooooooooow. Batter comes up runner on second the pitch strike runner tries and steals third, catcher get out of position throws the ball to third, I get into position to make the play, we got him beat I'm going to make the tag and it going to be awesome. I go to make the catch and then, why i have no idea maybe god needed a laugh or something Else but the light go out and the ball hit me in the nose. It was no good at all. the lights are out I'm on the ground with blood coming out of my nose and everyone is kinda freaking out, not to bad but its still funny. Lights come on I'm still on the ground getting back up blood coming out of my nose, it was a glorious time for me, i finished the game, i was probably suppose to switch jerseys but they didn't have one big enough for me. hahhaha

red bull and powerboats

There have been many many weird things that have happen to me. I seem to attract strange happenings. But the weirdest thing i have ever seen in my life was a guy wearing a halo neck thingy and he was driving a four wheeler. Many thing ran threw my head at the time when i saw it, but what really made me laugh was when he turned around the see the cars behind him that was just the funnest thing ever. He had to turn his whole body around to see what was behind him, and do you think he stopped, Ummmmmmmmm no he kept on moving. Wow, it got me thinking how he got hurt in the first place. Was he doing what he was doing right now and hit a bump and fell off because he didn't learn his lesson. Maybe he fell off his horse and felt this was safer. It could of been a wind surfing accident. what ever it was i enjoyed it very much, and would like to thank him for doing something silly like that!

but i dont wanna.

Something really funny happen to me valentines night. I went out with some friend nothing romantic just something to do since we were all single and nothing was going on. We went to our usual place Three Crow Bar nothing face but a fun place to go to hang out. I recommend it if your ever in the East Nashville area. So we are there having fun cracking jokes nothing to crazy just the norm. When all of a sudden the waitress come up to me and hands me a drink and say here this woman bout this for you. Well i was amazed at first but shit ill take a free drink plus I don't think any one would put the date rape drug in my drink, well you never know. So i looked at the lady and nodded thank you. She kinda had this look of concern and started walking towards me and when she got next to me she said " um I'm sorry but that drink was meant for the guy over there" the only thing I could say was " wow that's too bad he seems nice", asshole move maybe, but the lesson learned is grow a pair and go talk to someone do just send them a drink because some jackass could get it by accident and drink it.

Spell check blog!

So i get made fun of a lot, mostly by my sister when i write stuff online, about not being able to spell. So i got to thinking its apart of me that is really funny. So i decided to write a blog with out using spell check. A lot of you might be amazed that in past blogs you might say you found a missed spelled word. Well smarty pants you didn't you just found a word spelled correctly just not used in the right way, so poo on you. I have never ever been able to spell so good, and i mean ever. To this day i still ask people how to spell certain words. Even the easy words like holiday or fart maybe even holiday. The point of this is i never really scared to write even though i was tormented by everyone for this horrible thing i have. I always write how i want to spell check or no spell check. You might wonder who i blame for this, well not my parents and not my family. Mostly i blame the metro school system for their failure to make me a better citizen. So the next time you read this blog and you are amazed by all the grammar errors, don't be because I've been doing this for years and your just now catching on, and i just don't really care because its just another thing that can make people laugh. Have a great day!

We dont need no stinking badges.

I know the tittle is double negative, shut up.

Im 26 and as i reflect at the jobs i have had I cant help but think, damn i have had a lot of diffrent job doing a lot of diffrent things. My first job was at Sport Seasons in rivergat mall. Man did that job suck butt. I got paid like a nickle a hour, but the store discount was awsome. I had a manager there named lance he was an angry nome. he still works there you should stop by and gowk at him, he is the short bald guy. Then there was the stint at the Levi store, where i work with the to biggest tools ever. But they wernt the same type of tool they were very two diffrent tools. One was, or at least thought he was a cowboy, so i would always asking cowboy questions. Like what kind of gun is best for robbing trains or when your at a bar and you want a beer and someone spits on your boot are you suppose to slap his mother or marry his sister. Just any kind of stupid question with maybe two words having to do with cowboys. The olther thought he was God's Gift to the world to everyone. So to mess with him i would always bow when he entered the room now matter what i was doing or what i had in my hands. It would piss him off especially if i had his lunch in my hands. I would also anounce his entrance to the store over the entercome, i got introuble big time. So i always did it.

But why can't I?

My friend Mike has got to be one of the coolest people in the world he has also got to be the one person i enjoy making laugh more than anything in this world. Why? Well because when he is truly laughing it is a sight to see. But this story isn't about Mike laughing its about Mike almost killing someone and its not sad hell Mike even laughs at it now. Well at least i think he does.

Me, Mike, and well lets just say it was me and Mike were at a party at R.W. house and we were just hanging out having fun. I was being my usually loud and crazy self and Mike was just hanging out. We knew a lot of people the mostly people i hung out with when i was in high school and now we are all in college and just hanging out. Well one of the people i hung out with in H.S. was there and we will just call him J.G. was there and he was starting to get on Mike's nerves and he was getting uneasy. J.G. kept nagging him and nagging and wouldn't stop you could actually see Mike starting to get pissed off and was uneasy. The J.G. said something really dumb to Mike. He said " Me and you man see man me and you are the same we are just alike" witch was a far from the truth as possible. I haven't see a person almost rip the soul out of another many times but Mike almost did. He don't like hearing bullshit to ofter and he hit his limit that night and so they start arguing. They star bickering and the only thing i could hear before it got broke up was Mike saying this " You know why i don't like you, because when you were in elementary school you wore Nike's and when i was in elementary school i wore voit's and I'm still bitter about that shit bitch" greatest quote ever right there every time i hear that it still makes me smile.

Yes I shot the Dog.

A lot of dumb shit happens to me in my life. So much so its not believable at all. So I have decided to catalog all the dumb, silly, stupid, and down right awesome things that happens to me, my friends, and family in this blog. I will not use real names so my friends and family will be safe from any harassment that may come there way because of this blog. So thank you fro reading and enjoy the car wreck that has become my life.