Sometime I amaze myself.....fuck that I always amaze myself........................

I has been a while since i have wrote on this page in a while... a lot has changed since 2011 I've lost a lot of weight and I turned 30.....but a lot has stayed the same my friends are still nuts, my life is still awesome, my grammar is still horrible, and i need to get back o writing on this page why......shit i don't know probably because i have nothing better to do with my life.............. also my beard is pretty amazing right now.......  here is a picture of me and my mom

Dddddddddddd daym

Im pretty sure im not supposed to do anything on Sundays. Why you ask. Because .........that's all the answer you get.

Eh .......

It amazes me at work how peole read the news paper at work. The spread it all over the table like they are going to take a shit on the the table. Then they just walk off..... Why in the hell is this an ok way to to read a paper. You take up all the room so I now can't enjoy my bagel and blueberry cream cheese . Pluse you're ugy and your voice is annoying as shit. I hope you walk into a wall today........

Try and stop me.......

This is a conversion I had with a girl when I had first bout my house,I had lawn furniture to sit in my tv stand and I was sleeping in the bonus room. We had just got done eating out and came back to watch a movie when she said.......
Girl: what's that?
Me: oh, that's my owl
Girl: what's it for?
Me: to scare the haters, you know
         Keep them out
Girl: that thingis weirdand creepy
         And it keeps staring at me
Me: why?
Girl: I don't know!
Me: are you a hater?
Girl : no what would make you think
            That?
Me: you were talking pretty bad
        About my owl you must be a
         Hater . Now you have to leave
Girl: shut up
After this I start the movie and put the owl beside me and I told her it was to protect ne from he haterisms

so his butt print was on your windsheild?

I went to a happy little highschool called Nashville School for the Arts. Even though they probubly wouldnt like me to admit it i went there and loved it. There are so many memories from that place its crazy, so here is just one or maybe a hundred.... screw it ill just put some of my most fondest memorise of that place.......

1. Stealing door knobs - yes i did it it was an old school and youo could just jerk the knobs off (thats what she said)

2.Going to Prom with Shoup - it wasnt going to prom with her that was fun it was meeting the people i might not have ever talked to at NSA if i hadnt gone

with her. Weird thing is my cousin married her cousin.......

3. Mrs. Tutt - Even though we didnt get along my senior year she was still a

great teacher and tried to keep me in line, me and mike still

laugh at the last thing i ever told her..."You are really making

me angry" you had to be there, it was sad

4. The People - no not all the students there just the ones lucky enough to be

apart of a group called the people. Mostly Mr. Woodal's class

5. Scene design and construction - Im pretty sure we were the best class at that, but at the same

time we were the worst about listing to anything mrs. Tutt

Said. We were constantly cracking joke walking off or if

you were Terence you were hiding in the curtain. I mean

that is literally the class where Marcus got the nick name

"Moon Pie" mostly because he mooned everyone

in the class......seriously

6 Donnie Crenshaw - If you went or ever had Mr. Donnie Crenshaw then i dont need say a thing, he is the craziest smartest most dangerous

teacher i have ever had......man he was awesome....

7. Dances for no reason - D.J. Bell and his laser table......oh and he did steal somebodies

portable CD player

8.Senior Prom - I took Jole Lenard instead of my girl friend.........seriously made

the right choice

9. The gym classes - only at NSA do you go from coach Wright to Mr Mallack ( i think

that was his name) to teachers with two totally different

thoughts on kids. I mean im pretty sure Mallack was living in

boys locker room.......seriously

10. The time i peed for Scott - as i look back at this it was dumb for me to do but he was in a

tough spot and he was my friend and i wanted to help

long story short he needed my pee for a drung test so he

wouldnt get in trouble and it was a game of cat and mouse

were me and him were carrying around a bottle of my pee

most of the day, i would do it again if need be for real, but

wewe are both in a place where we can laugh at this now...

it was high school so im sure some of my memory is

a little more dramatized than the actual event but its still

funny

11. Marcus hit the dumpster - Imagine sitting down in your car waiting for school to start

when you friend in his car which he called the "blue lagoon"

comes flying down the hill in which goes into the parking lot

and literaly feet away from the dumpster hits his breaks

and skids all the way to the dumpster and hits it going

probably 7-2 mph then puts his car into reverse and parks

right beside you gets out like nothing happen and says

"hey"........marcus does that.....

12. jole takes a dance class - jole had to take a dance class his senior year, normaly it

wouldnt be weird for a male to do this but it was Jole and

it was funny.......really funny

13.  In all honesty I got high a lot there, I look back and probably shouldn't of gotten that high as much as I did, but I did and it was my choice ha

Don't make me tell you again.....GO WONE

Ok time to fess up about something, my jr year of high school at Nashville school of the arts i told the teacher something happen and so i wouldn't have to take a test........and it worked.....and he is what happen

It was Friday and i knew i had a big test in miss Scott's class that i obviously didn't study for. so the only logical thing i could think of to do is make up a huge lie and try to get out of it. So i thought and thought and thought some more and the story i came up was that i was driving to school when this guy cut me off and i flipped him off and he got pissed and forced me off the road and he pulled over too, and when he got out of his car i got out of mine screaming at each other and when we got close to each other i thought he was swinging at me so i swung first and knocked him out and ran and got back into my car and sped back to school......I tell her this with one of the best acting jobs i have ever done in my life and she believed me or at least i thought she did, I mean i got out of taking the test REALLY I DID. It even got to Mr. Crenshaw the crazy teacher and he believed it seriously. Now that i sit back and look at it maybe Mrs. Scott was just impressed that i made up and elaborate enough lie that she gave me credit and let it slide.....nah she totally bought it......as far as i know Crenshaw still talks about it at least he told my cousin MM......................................................................................................................................Sorry mom hahaha

I got my thumb stuck in a bottle, yes I'm that dumb to get my thumb stuck in a bottle.....

Every December there is a special day that come were every one gets together and they are all filled with joy and happiness. They share stories and laugh and hang out and have a good time. No I'm not talking about Christmas at all, but Santa is involved and he ain't handing out presents or at least not all of them are. I know some of you may be confused as to what I'm talking about, but their is a small few of you who know exactly what I'm talking about.........and you are smiling right now because you remember the greatest time you have ever had in your life, and if you say no I'm wrong then your just lying to yourself.......seriously. what I'm talking about is Santa Con. or you may gave heard it called the Nashville Santa rampage. "What is it?" you ask well its where a bunch of people get together and dress like Santa and go bar hopping. So yes its a pub crawl where everyone is dressed like Santa and spreading Christmas cheer! It was the most amazing thing ever to walk down second ave. with 200 Santa's (give or take....maybe more like 100 but still i had been drinking and was just ball parking it) and shouting HO HO HO. It was great and will be something i remember forever, even at the next one I'm not sure it will even live up to that. I think i explained pretty well how much fun i had and how awesome it truly was and if you still don't get how much fun i had then let me say this IT WAS SERIOUSLY FUCKING AWESOME! Get the point now, you must now know that i almost died at this. I know what your thinking how could it be that much fun and you almost die, or maybe a great another drunk driver story, but i didn't drive we planned ahead and had a sober ride...Santa played it smart. (THANKS AGAIN PATTY POO) What I'm about to tell you is the scariest thing that has happen to me during the happiest time of my life.....let me say that again "What I'm about to tell you is the scariest thing that has happen to me during the happiest time of my life" and it included my friend Bradly..........

Bradly and me were hanging out by the Jukebox at the bar (Beer Cellar) and we were small talking and kinda in shock at the amount of Santas crammed into that place (it wasn't over capacity so don't freak out) it was an amazing thing it was seriously a sea of red and white. I was completely different from where we had started at 5 points. We showed up early to three crow bar to grab something to eat and it was almost like showing up early to prom, everyone there was not dress like us and just staring at us (Me, KEKE, and Bradly) it was odd and uncomfortable but we ran with it (as i often do). It was about an hour until every one else showed up but still it was nothing like what was going on where we are at now.......it was insane. I am having a blast taking pictures of Santa, taking pictures with Santa just hanging out high fiveing Santa and just having fun. Then it happen me and brad were talking by the jukebox when out of no where this creepy Santa walked out of the sea of red and white and walked towards me and Bradly. we stood there not knowing what was going one and he walked up and said something to which i said "yea man" i have no idea what he said it was loud as shit in there, but apparently I said the wrong thing, because what he didn't next almost made me crap my pants. He kinda glares at me and Bradly real weird like then he takes the glass in his hand and smashes it against the jukebox and holds up the broken piece in his hand at me and Bradly. We freeze completely because we have no idea what is going on and we are not completely freaking out. He drops the glass in his hand and hold his finger up to his lip and makes the "shhhhh" face . I nod i don't know what Bradly was doing because i didn't take my eyes off the guy. Then he kinda just morphs back in to the sea of Santa. That was it me and Bradly look at each other like we had both been spared for some reason, which we had been. Next come probably one of the dumbest things i have ever said, and yes even for me this is one of the dumbest things i have ever said. One of the guys that worked there came up right after everything just went down and was cleaning it up, He asked me and Bradly what happen we tell him, and while i tell him this the phrase "I think he was dressed like Santa" came out. To which he replied "really you think". Yes i said it, i called out the guy dressed like Santa at a Santa PUB CRAWL.......I win

********(I have to ask permission to post a photo of the party we went to after the pub crawl because it isn't mine and the people in it may not want their face on my blog, but the way i look and KEKE looks as well as her husband Bradly looks it really explains our night tremendously and captures really how much fun this thing really was..........I cant wait till Santa rampage 2011!)*********

Good evening. I'm Ron Burgundy and here's what happening in your world tonight

sitting in class when your almost an hour in a half early is no fun, at least not when its just you and a pregnant lady and she farts and tries to play it off like nothing happen, oh but i know and i know she knows i know. Stinky hooker

My name is Danger, but you can call me Seth.

If your laying in bed with a girl and she asks, "have you ever wondered who invented kisses?" you pat her on her head and say "Jesus did baby" and roll over and go to bed.

TRUE STORY

yea she dumb, but she mine, alllllll miiiiiine

I once made a promise to myself i would never ever write about what happens to me at my job in fear of what could happen to me. after much thinking and coaxing from a friend i have decided to do away with that promise only because some of my best stories are now because of the the people i work with. to put it nicely they are all insane and here is how i deiced to prove it with some life lessons, but no real name will be used and you will never know where i work, unless of course you are ready know where i work or you work with me oh creepy if you read my blog.

TO start thing off im going to write a story that i tell a lot of people about little ol lady. yes thats the name i gave her shut up. Ok it was me Nard Dog, Mac C and Lil ol lady and we all went to grab a bite to eat at the local el chico, me and the nard dog frequented there at this time to get away from the place we call work any who we are sitting there looking at our menus figuring out what we wanted to eat so i order some cheese dip while we look the was the usual for me and the nard dog well lil ol lady starts looking at us funny and says "what is that?, What Is That?, WHAT IS THAT?" now i can do it any justice but just think about the funniest lil old lady voice saying that and you will be close. so i tell here its cheese dip "ohhhhhhh cheese?" at this point i can only Columbus find the Americas had the same reaction to finding something new so the nard dog ask if she would like to try some and she is all about some cheese dip at this time i ,mean she is going at it with fury and rage i have never seen before the whole time saying "oh it so geewd oh so geewed oh geewed" then nard dog says "he said you could try it no eat all of it" with her mouth full of cheese dip and chips she says "sorry but its so geewed" thats not the grossest part of this outing there was the simple fact that the little ol lady never realized she had cheeses dip all around her mouth, you also have to understand at el chico they sell two different types of cheese dip there is yellow and there is white we had bout the white so it looked like well i think you get the idea with out me going on if not then go rub white cheese dip all over your face an figure it out for yourself and no i didnt tell her because if i did it wouldnt be funny if i did.

El Pollo Loco

during my time off of the blog it gave me time to really think about where i have been and the journeys i have taken. OK to be honest it made me look back and be amazes that I'm still alive and able to breath normal, i wasn't the smartest kid alive.

from crashing remote control plans with my dad to putting my head threw a wall Ive been threw a lot of crazy stuff, but the time i flipped my car had to be the craziest. Yes i flipped my car going into what i think was the summer i was going into my Jr year of high school. I was driving down brush hill road and i guess i got to close to the side of the road and the next thing you know i was upside-down perfectly in my lane. that was the weird part it was as if someone picked my car up flipped it over and lay it perfectly in my lane, weird. there isn't much to think about when you upside down in a car about the only two things i though about were "damn this sucks" and " i think i need to get out of here". I wasn't in a very big hurry to get out, i wasn't hurt at all, i just was in no big hurry to deal with a car being flipped over, that's a lot for a high school to deal with. i was mostly worried about girls at this time and now i have a car that is flipped over oh great. so i UN buckle myself from the seat and yes i hung upside-down for around 5 min and yes its exactly what you think its like except maybe my heart was pounding a little harder than normal. so I'm on all fours on the roof on my car crawling out of the drivers side window. I get up from the road and start walking to the closes house and i get half way to the house and this lady comes screaming out of the house lay down omg are you ok lay down lay down. I mean I'm not going to argue with any one especially after this and knowing how lazy i am so i stop in her yard and lay down, she asks if i need anything i tell her water would be nice and bam i get some water, pretty sweet. so they call the ambulance and the whole time I'm thinking damn my parents are going to shit a whole cow when they hear about this. now the ambulance shows up and this is where the fun happens they come running over and wanting to check everything about me but the realize I'm OK after 10 min of poking me with shit then the say the have to take me in to make sure I'm OK then i politely ask what the hell was the ten min oh poking for if i have to go in they tell me i have to go in because i flipped my car if a hadn't of flipped it i wouldn't have to go in, just my luck. so the decide they are going to strap me to the board and lift me up and put me on the stretcher, now if you are reading this and you have met me before you realize that I'm a pretty big dude, given i know they lift people all the time and sometime twice my size but still it was just two on them and me laying on the board strapped to it, needless to say they couldn't get me on the stretcher so we come up with a game plan where they put the board on the stretcher and i lay on it and they strap me in and that seemed to work just fine. the ride there was ridiculous the guy hit every bump in the road and was going 5000000 miles per hour while he was doing it. i got to the hospital and everything was OK my mom met me there she was freaked out. given if i pulled up and my kids car was upside down i would freak to. but all is well i can drive a little better and a lot safer.

Oh I'm back and yes i brought friends, and stories!

Hello blog friends hope all is well i took a bit of a break from everything to somethings and give the ol noggin a rest, but like the great Michale Jordan, I'm back and have lots to tell about a lot of many things that are funny sad and just not right and probably shouldn't be allowed in the us any more. well ladies and germs i can honestly say its good to be back and i cant wait to hear from all my friends in blog world and yes if you would like to participate in a mad lib for my blog e-mail me at sethcarterhasablog@gmail.com. Love Peace and hair grease later all and have a wonderful day!!!!!

Yea im sorry i punched your granny.

I know i know its been to long sinece ive done this and i know im suppose to have huge birthday week special but to be honest i dont remember much and we will just leave it at that. The one thing that i did do that was awesome that i did was i played spades with Mike Rich and Rehab and thats what i really wanted to do it was honestly one of the best birthdays ever thanks, so i know why your here you want a story so here you go. There arnt to many times in my life where im at a loss for words i take that back its pretty much why i started this blog in the first place.

Back in high school i would do what any normal high school kid would do on friday nights i would go to games and hang out and have fun and go out after words. Well during the game me and my friends rick and brando would get board and play a game. well it wasnt really a game i was more me acting blind and them going up to people and introducing them to me. I know im a bad person what can i say it helped the time go by. People were always super nice to me, I mean if i was really blind i would of never felt offended. i even think some one bought me a hot dog and a coke one time, and there might of been some pictures. Yes we did tell some people i wasnt that was aways funny but some people we just left hannging out in lala land it was great. So after about a football season of this it got back to my mpother that i was acting blind at football games. See i didnt go to school there i went to church with people that went there so it eventually got back to her. She didnt get mad or anyhting she just said "so your blind huh?" in passing one day she thought it was funny but let me know that it might not be that funny to blind people. And true it wasnt but at the time it was funny as hell to me so we did it a couple of more times even did it a some tennis matches. It all kinda stopped when brando introduced me to a girl and i accedntly stuck my fingure up her nose she kinda got freaked out so it was funny.

THE LIST (ADULT CONTENT)

There comes a time in most guys life where they construct a list. you might ask yourself what does this list consist of. Well it is a list of who they have had relations with, and this is the subject of to days blog. You see a friend of mine had his list found by his girlfriend of some time. Now I'm not going to say any names because i don't want to burn any bridges but this subject got me thinking and i got some of the people at work talking about it and here is my thoughts on this subject.





Yes the list is stupid i agree, but it is done not to brag, OK maybe a little, it is to put into perspective what we have done. The people I talked to said that they remembered who in there head, well that's good and all but it doesn't seem that big of a deal until its on a piece of paper in front of you. There doesn't have to always be a grading system or a ranking system or a how many times system its a list, who ever made the list makes up there own rules. The reason why the list is hidden for the girls is because you would look to deep into it. Now I understand that i am dancing on a ledge here, but its true. When i try to explain this stupid act to some of the women at work they would ask question that really didn't matter like, Why? well i don't know why guys just do, then the normal reply well that's just dumb, but Why?. They think its the dumbest thing in the world but they wanna know why really freaking bad. They they wanna know if there is some kind of special secret ranking system, and to be honest not always every list and how its made is up to the person who made it, and trust me there are some girls out there who make lists. Then they ask why again like i forgot to say something 5 min ago and i reply the same, i don't know we just do. then comes the good ol' "Well do you right the name down how many time or do you just make tally marks beside the names?" Its up to who ever makes the list just to let you know almost every question i was asked by the ladies at my work was answered with "Its up to whoever made the list!" This proves that some not all, but the great majority of the women out there would look into this way to much than it needs to be. I'm sorry make fun of me, hit me, call me awful names, but its the truth. All it is, is a list it doesn't mean anything. Yes it is dumb, and no it doesn't make any since, but does anything guys do make any since to women? Not to you but it does to us. Just so you know the list does disappear eventually. Why? I don't know its up to the person who made the list! So don't ask me.

The Always Sunny In Philidelphia Drinking Game!

The Always Sunny In Philidelphia Drinking Game!

1. If the name "Charle" is said you take a drink.



2. If the name "Dee" is said you take a drink.



3. If the word "bitch" is said in any form you take a drink.

4. If Dennis says "Bad Ass" you take a drink

5. If you have any drink left by the end of the show you finish it.

Enjoy the Show and the mayhem

This is a lot of fun, a whooooooooooooooooooole lot of fun.

I pooted on your pillow, i hope you get pink eye.

So my birthday is 3 days away and i plan on doing a special "super fantastic explosive edition" of Because poop smells like shit, that's the name of my blog for those that didn't pay attention, in this edition there will be over 83 hours of my life photographed and or written about. It will be fantastic and yes kinda sad. We will grow together as you read it so get ready for an all new train wreck of fun, silliness, and sorrow i call life. thanks again and keep doing what ever it is you do to get paid or for fun in between reading my blog Oh and go see Zombie land it fuckin rocks.

Time to nut up or shut up!

the absolutely funniest thing in the history of life happen the other day. Well maybe not the history of life but it was pretty damn close. It was kinda like seeing a unicorn it was something that happen and the timing was just right to make it amazing. What happen you ask well this is what happen.

Last Sunday i was at dug's parents house watching football. They put together a good group of food and people to watch football and hang out. So its the end of the titans game and me dug and Tyler decide to go throw football to wast time in between games. its going pretty good nothing to Fancy then one of the group comes out to throw with us. He is cool hung out with him plenty of Times to know he aight, i do feel bad, i can remember his name to save my life though. Its going good then the group of i would say high school aged boy that are there come up and throw with us. Now there are tow at the end with me and Tyler and one went down with dug and the other guy. The one down there is jumping right into it. I would say showing off a lil bit. Not enough to get on any ones nerves. then i notice the guy say something to dug. The only thing that goes off in my head when i see this is " holy shit this is going to be good" . Tyler has the ball and dug points up as if to say "hey friend lob this one up for you friend" and Tyler nods as if to say " sure pal, anything for a friend" and Tyler hums that mofo. Now for those who may not know what "Tyler humms that mofo" means, it means Tyler threw the ball really freaking hard i could hear the wind come off of it. So the kid jumps for the ball and dug grabs the bottom of his shorts and his shorts come down. Now the kid has a choice to make go for the ball or go for the shorts. Guess what he did? That's right he went for the shorts. Hear is some advice if you ever find yourself with this choice. Go for the ball, go for the ball, GO FOR THE FREAKING BALL. Because he went for the shorts and the ball hit him right in the face causing him to fall down in the yard with his shorts down around his ankles. At this point me and Tyler are laughing so hard we are hugging each other to hold each other up. It was insane how funny this was. The kid was OK and we knew it so calm down. He was a good sport to, rolled over and with blood coming out of his nose looked at dug and said "payback is a bitch dug". So after he left I tyred to convince dug to send balloons to his school with a card that read. "Roses are red, Violets are blue, your eye is black, Boo whoo. Hope your face feels better, Cordially Dug" So he could be two up on the kid. But dug said no sadly and he felt real bad about it. So me and Tyler made him feel worse about it. hahahahaha Great Day!!!!!!!!

Yea the goat had it commin, he was talking shit.

So I got some good new, but we are going to star this off right. If you read or have read my blog I'm not really shy about saying I'm 26 and live with my parents. I'm not proud of it but it works or should i say worked. That's right ladies and germs I'm moving out. After two glorious years at home the turkey is leaving the nest yet again. lol its a good time in my life right now got a new car and a new place to say "tear" I'm a big boy now and i cant wait to see what I'm going to be when i grow up. Well i thought i would blog about this since not much else is going on in my life, besides school witch is awesome, not really. I'm out later

Yea so i messed up.

Aperently i took the follow my blog button off my blog so i replaced it and now its back up so if you would like to follow my blog because your on blogger now you can, but you can also subcribe to it with the orange button thingy. thank you for reading and keep reading!

Alfagabbadub

I cant tell you when the last time i talked to a girl, woman, or what ever you call it and took the conversation seriously. I have no idea what its about me lately but I just don't care about there feelings or what they are saying. Ill call if i want to and i don't want to talk i just let it ring or in my case i got tired of my ringer and switched to vibrate. Nothing against them its just they are on my nerves. Also my approach to girls mimics that of a 7 year old on the play ground, What I'm trying to say here is that if i think a girl is cute i tend to make fun of them. Why i have no idea but it works about 2% of the time and its a sure fire way to find what i like to call "the crazies" they are nice i don't want to sound mean or anything, but they crazy. I talked about this with the nard dog and he spent 45 min trying to convince me I was gay witch funny yes but far from the truth. I guess this is just proof that i haven't matured as much as i thought i have in the past couple of years hmm and maybe i just don't want a relationship and I'm yet again doing this to myself just to see how i would handle this, well that's it I'm going to go play with my G.I. Joe's now later.